PATRIARCHY: The driving factor in Violence Against Women and Girls

“Patriarchy is a form of mental, social, spiritual, economic and political organization/structuring of society produced by the gradual institutionalization of sex-based political relations created, maintained and reinforced by different institutions linked closely together to achieve consensus on the lesser value of women and their roles.

These institutions interconnect not only with each other to strengthen the structures of domination of men over women, but also with other systems of exclusion, oppression and/or domination based on real or perceived differences between humans, creating States that respond only to the needs and interests of a few powerful men.” - Alda Facio

Based on the numerous definitions of patriarchy available, my simple conclusion is that patriarchy says men dominate and women must submit, which is a very problematic way of operating. Most times, when people defend their patriarchal beliefs, they tend to blame them on biology and hint at how women are “biologically inferior to men,” but we all know that it is just an excuse to exclude women and justify social, cultural, religious and other beliefs and practices that oppress women.

So why do I say patriarchy is the driving factor behind violence against women and girls? Well consider the following points:

Men dominate and women submit: This means that women must obey men at all times. In a family the man is the head, he makes all the decisions and the women must follow them, even if they disagree. For married women it is even worse, there are so many rules about what a “good woman” must do, and very little about what a man must do. Patriarchy says that if a man comes home late, or not at all, a woman should never question him about his whereabouts, otherwise the man has every reason to “discipline” her.

In displaying their dominance, men are expected to use force against their partners, or women and girls in general - “A real man must be feared by his wife.” While a man is accorded certain liberties like staying out late with friends, a woman cannot do the same. If in a relationship, men would even go to an extent of telling the woman who she can befriend, and who she should stay away from. For daughters or sisters, men would want to have a say on who the women get in relationships with, but want their privacy to be respected when the tables are turned. Men feel entitled to women’s bodies. When walking down the streets there is so much catcalling, men will literally make comments about a woman’s breasts or behinds and women are expected to be grateful for the unwanted and disrespectful attention.

Women are seen as objects to be used for men’s sexual gratification. If in a relationship a woman is expected to always give in to the man’s sexual advances, even when she does not feel like engaging in those, after all a “good woman must please her man.”

A woman’s value or worth is attached to her sexuality. Women who are openly sexual are often termed as “loose” while their male counterparts are often praised for the same behaviour. There are always ridiculous standards set for women to prove their “honour” while men do the bare minimum and are regarded as heroes.

Bullying done by boys is tolerated from a young age because “boys will be boys” while girls are expected to be quiet and submissive. Girls who are not soft spoken are always frowned upon because they do not fit society’s idea of what a woman should be.

Because men view women as tools for their sexual gratification, there is very little acknowledgement of same sex relationships between women. Though lesbian and bisexual women exist, they are often seen as going through a phase that a “good man can fix.” This is also very problematic because there are cases when men rape women to “correct” their sexuality.

So, with the above points in mind, it is my opinion that patriarchy is the main problem behind violence against women and girls. Because men feel that women are inferior to them, that they need to be dominant, that they need to be more powerful, that they need to use force against women to assert their dominance, violence against women and girls remains a crisis. Until men acknowledge that patriarchy is a problem and play an active role in addressing it, we will never see any real change.