WOMEN BEWARE
Cultural beliefs fuel GenderBased Violence
Mon na ga a bots weko at swan gt eng Women still made to believe men are providers
Women have been urged to beware of cultural beliefs as they significantly contribute to the escalating statistics of Gender Based Violence (GBV). This emerged during a recent Gaborone Bonnington North Constituency Gender Based Violence sensitisation campaign in Block 3 hosted by area councillor Motamma Horatius, and graced by First Lady, Neo Masisi.
Examples of such negative cultural norms and messages are those given to a new bride when she is presented to her in-laws. Participants heard that among others, a newly married woman would be told that the secret of keeping a family together is never to publicly reveal anything that may shame their families, no matter the severity of the toxic situation inside their homes. There are elderly women who still counsel new brides to never ask where a husband has been after his lengthy and unexplained absence from the house.
Participants said these types of messages hold women back when red flags appear in marriages or when their children face danger, until the damage is done.
District Commissioner, Grace Seitshiro concurred. She said most times when a woman brings a girl child into the marriage, it is likely that the husband may sexually abuse the child, whilst the mother turns a blind eye.
She encouraged faithfulness in marriage and advised women to teach the boy child to be protective of their sisters from an early age to avoid raising a community of angry men who abuse women.
First Lady Neo Masisi assured children that their cries would always be listened to and they should never be discouraged to speak out.
“Children, talk to us and we will listen to you,” she said, noting that GBV requires all to stand together to fight it. She said the second pillar of Vision 2036 talks about ‘human and social development’ which includes spiritual wellbeing, culture and strong family institutions.
She said this means that the elderly are responsible for guiding the young ones even if they are not their biological children instead, of abusing them. Masisi also encouraged women to allow men to express themselves emotionally if they feel unhappy.
“Most men have anger issues and cannot manage this anger. This may be a result of being abused as young boys and so they grow up with anger and bitterness. Women, ignore some of these cultural beliefs that a man doesn’t cry, and allow them to cry when they
feel like it, because crying is therapeutic on its own. If they need counselling support them too, don’t start despising their manliness,” she said.
Masisi said from the conversations she has had with children, they have indicated that they need protection from GBV and want to be included when laws are implemented.
She said boys on the other hand ask to be raised well so that they do not become aggressive people in the future. She added that children living with disabilities also cry out for help as some are abused by their caregivers.
Member of Parliament for Bonnington North and Minister of Nationality, Immigration and Gender Affairs, Anna Mokgethi shared GBV cases were on the rise and as the country observes 16 Days of activism against women and children everyone must get involved and say no to GBV.
Block 3 Deputy Chief Motlamma Baloi said most women believe that men should provide for them and so it makes it difficult for them to leave when the relationship goes sour. She described this type of relationship as a “disgrace in today’s era” and urged women to stop depending on men.
She urged women to be each other’s keeper and stop hiding other people’s partners in their homesteads. “A family man can go and stay at another woman’s house leaving his own family and it is women who encourage such bad incidents, which leads to GBV,” said Baloi.
Botswana Police Service, Assistant Superintendent Maemo Leshiba expressed concern at women who report GBV and later drop the charges.
He said Broadhurst Police Station recorded five murder cases since January this year, 41 rape cases, 35 defilement cases in which some children are aged between 14 and 17 years and others are pregnant. They have also registered 27 cases of threat to kill and 394 cases of assaults.