Couples should observe a regular intimacy schedule

Learning to make decisions in advance can be one of the best strategies for protecting your marriage and keeping it a priority.

We need to decide in advance how we will give time, protection, and investment to our marriage. If we do not make those decisions the frantic pace of life will eventually erode the love and commitment we have to each other.

Scheduling date is one decision every married couple should make. If you have dates on your calendar for the next three to four months, you are assured that you will take time to play together, have fun together, and carry on a conversation on a regular basis without the interruption of your children. If you have never done this before, sit down together with a calendar and put a big heart on the days you will plan for some time together. If your children are young, arrange for a sitter about one month in advance. And do not worry about dates needing to cost a lot of money; we are not talking dinner and a movie every time. A date can be something as simple as taking a walk together.

What is most important is that you take time to laugh, talk, and play together. Every married couple should make time to get away. Once or twice a year, set aside time for a 24-48 hour getaway for just the two of you. Can grandma watch the kids?

Can you trade childcare with another couple? With a date on the calendar the details are ready to be determined and the plans are put in place.

This time away is essential for couples to remember what it is like to sleep until noon together or to spend the day walking around a game lodge or even doing a drive-through safari viewing animals, bike trails, museums, or sight-seeing.

Schedule intimacy, especially if you are a couple with kids! Too often we expect physical intimacy to always be spontaneous, but in a life with children the pace is fast and the exhaustion never seems to end. Spontaneity happens occasionally, but not often enough for a healthy love life.

Smart couples that make a commitment to a regular schedule of intimacy find this advance decision is one of the best decisions they make for their marriage. For the person with a higher desire for intimacy it assures them sex will happen. For the partner with a lesser desire for intimacy it builds anticipation and helps them prepare mentally and physically for the time together. Set boundaries for interacting with members of the opposite sex.

This protects the marriage relationship. Temptation often happens when we least expect it, and if we have not put boundaries in place about interacting with the opposite sex, we may find ourselves drawn to someone other than our spouse. Smart couples commit to avoiding alone time with someone of the opposite sex.

They agree to draw some lines that recognize the possibilities of temptation and intentionally place distance between themselves and someone of the opposite sex.