Fathers should learn to appreciate their women more
Martinno Chachiua has been a dad for 21 years. Chachiua gets emotional when he talks about his most important role as a father.
He is a caring father of three girls aged 21 years, 15, and 6 years. His eyes were opened to the beauty of fatherhood and parenting, the day he witnessed the birth of his first born.
The Mozambican doting father was present in the delivery room during the precious moment of the birth of his first child. It was during that period that he really got to appreciate and see just how special women are.
He tells this publication that since that day he has never looked at women the same way. “I have no words to explain how I changed the way that I see and think about women since that day,” he says. He has missed a few milestones of his children as he was a migrant worker, and was always out trying to earn a living for his family. This often meant that his wife was left to take care of the children. But he says that he sees this process as a learning curve as it has shaped him into the type of father that he is today. Chichiua does not take lightly to this role. His role as a father is to shape, nurture and lovingly direct and share life lessons with his three darling daughters.
This past weekend, he was one of the fathers who attended the ongoing Dad’s Cookout Battle.
The Cookout is an initiative of UNICEF and Men and Boys for Gender Equality, in partnership with Avani Gaborone Resort and Casino.
The cook out was held under the theme: Reimagine Parenting. Over the past weeks, different personalities in different sectors and fields have been sharpening their culinary skills in the kitchen, going head-to-head, and finding out who the best Chef is in the kitchen. The final of the cook-out is this coming weekend. Sharing his insights with this publication about the role of the father, Chichiua shares that he has observed a disheartening trend of men who just up and voluntarily leave their families.
He fails to understand how men can just up and leave their families behind and leave the hard work of taking care of the family to the mothers. “This is really a pandemic that needs to be addressed,” he says. He says that coming from a generation where parents often struggled to give their children all that they could in terms of wants and needs, the modernday father must do all that he can to provide for his family, and be present in the lives of his children. Speaking during the event, UNICEF Representative, Dr Joan Matji explains that June has been set aside as the Global Month of Parenting. She notes that since the beginning of the month, they have been hosting dialogues and cooking competitions with fathers from all walks of life. This has been an eye-opening experience for her and has given her the opportunity
to learn about the daily challenges of fathers in Botswana.
“The challenges range from cultural norms and practices that discourage male involvement during the early days, absence of family friendly policies in the workplace and the adverse effects of Covid-19 on the socio-economic front of families,” she says. These are the reasons why this year, they were focusing on the well-being of parents and care givers.
“The impact of investing in parents should never be underestimated as healthy parents raise health children,” she says. Meanwhile, in an interview, Desmond Lunga of Men and Boys for Gender Equality explains that they partnered with UNICEF as they wish to create conversation around parenting.
They also want to educate men and enlighten them about their role in the lives of their children. He says they hope to showcase and break the gender stereotypes that men should not be in the kitchen. “We want to show men that they too can easily whip up a meal for their families or even be comfortable in the kitchen,” Lunga says. Funds permitting, they would love to take the programme to other areas.
A father of three, two boys and a girl aged 14, 12, and 8, Lunga explains that Fathers’ Day affords him the opportunity to reflect, and celebrate what it means to be a father. “I wish to encourage other men that they too can excel at this fatherhood,” he says.