ADJUSTMENT IS A LIFE SKILLS NUGGET

I am persuaded to explore the issue of adjustment in relationships and more so that we are living in exceedingly difficult and unpredictable times and COVID 19 does not make it any easier. We come to the realization that living has been altered hence the appreciation that we are in the dispensation of the ‘‘new normal’’. In this context, patterns of doing things has been altered beyond our control. Since we are not able to control many things, we then need to regulate the totality of our being hence acceptance of this new way of living must happen despite tensions and struggles. Mankind is created to live in a balanced state where there is peace and harmony not as a reflection of having no problems, conflicts and or not being disconnected through maladaptive patterns. Instead, we are acknowledging that we are endowed internally and externally with resources and coping skills and techniques that build us to handle stress and pain.

Part of man’s growth and development is in our daily navigations as we generate purpose through the uncertainties of life. The visions and dreams we have come alive during our pains, struggles and uncertainties and one of the most effective ways of dealing with matters of life is in our capacity to adjust to changes in life. Adjustment is man’s ability to alter, change and shift things to accommodate the new dynamics that find their way into our lives, and this is important as it directs our living patterns. The things we need to adjust include our thoughts, world views, opinions, attitudes, behaviours, emotions, perceptions, strategies and skills of constructing our reality and even getting things to work. If we cannot develop modalities of navigating our scope of thinking and even doing, we may run the risk of being fixated in old ways and settling in positions that may obstruct our ability to find peace and rest. In such situations, we struggle to move forward and may become regressive or stagnate which can be frustrating as we seek our place of balance.

The comfort zone platforms we build sometimes settle us deeply in undesirable leading to the state of imbalance. So, tremors bring shocks and shakings for we may struggle to take our positioning in the newness of our being. Strategies for dealing with adjustments include changing perspectives and seeking a positive mindset shift. This is critical because some issues just need a new perspective and aligning well in that place of looking and or viewing for through that lens one attains a perspective. In some cases, we need to learn, relearn and even unlearn some things because we get to a state of engaging maladaptive behaviours and teaching ourselves that these ineffective ways are right and allowable which could be a mirror reflection of an illusion. In some cases, adjusting the roles and functions we play in situations and moving to a place of deepening our positioning is a critical imperative in our social dynamics.

The relationships and social connections we surround ourselves with are so important as they have an influence in how we draw strength from our social support system. If the social environment is full of negative energy, it consequently leads to a toxic social environment and so we need positive social buffers as networks to catch and support us in our wobbling. We need permission from others and ourselves to make mistakes and to forgive ourselves and others as we also learn and grow without feeling condemnation.

Mankind is meant to live in peace and this is our desire hence we need to draw on faith and trust to access by grace the supernatural power and strength of the very being that is above all. It is “Through Him that we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:2-5 ESV).