The Contentious Wife: Are you such a wife?
A man never does well when he is under pressure from a contentious wife. What type of wife are you? Does your husband fear you? Let him look forward to coming home to you. The book of Proverbs in the Bible states, “Better to live in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” This is a serious indictment on the nature and character of a woman. What is it like to live in a house with a contentious wife? First of all, we need to define what ‘contentious’ means. The word
means quarrelsome and defines one who is likely to cause an argument. A quarrelsome wife is one who deliberately looks for wrong things in her husband or children so that she can have something to complain about. She picks fights, even with regards to the smallest things. Her attention is always on the lookout for something wrong. In a casual conversation about things that are not good for the family, she looks for that negative detail about which to start a quarrel. She will not appreciate anything right that comes from her husband. Solomon had many wives. That was his first mistake.
It is hard enough to cope with one contentious woman. There is great responsibility in looking after one wife, let alone many wives. God designed marital happiness between one man and one woman.
When a woman is contentious she loses focus of what her primary responsibilities are towards her husband and family. Solomon learnt the hard way.
When he wrote these words in Proverbs, it was because he had experienced what it means to live with a contentious wife. He concluded that it was better to live in a corner of a housetop than to be in the same house with a contentious wife. There is something ugly about a contentious wife. Her contentious spirit makes her angry and that anger produces bitterness and resentment, which
erodes her beauty until her beauty is blurred from her husband’s vision.
Solomon also says, “Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman.” The wilderness is a far and remote place where dangerous animals and other notorious creatures live. When Solomon says it is better to live far from an angry and contentious woman then it means he is more content and much safer living in the bush or desert than with a woman whose spirit is bitter. This is a sharp contrast to the woman of Proverbs chapter 31 who is elegant, dignified and hardworking, and whose husband is proud of her and is respected in public because of her integrity.
The contentious woman has an axe to grind with her husband and will not give him rest until she accomplishes the mission of making his life miserable. Jezebel in the Old Testament book of First Kings was such a woman. She bullied her husband and forced her decisions on him.
A man never does well when he is under such pressure from a contentious wife. An angry wife is one who feels she has been wronged and considers it her duty to take vengeance on her husband to make him pay for his mistakes.
Hence Solomon says it is better to go far from her. What type of wife are you? Does your husband fear you? Let him look forward to coming home to you.