Bed wetting by children can be a sign of grief

Children can also be deeply affected by loss and grief, Dr. Marekwe Selemogwe-Matsetse of Psych Matters Botswana, which offers mental health services, has warned. This is why it is important for parents to always be on the lookout, and take notice because it is not easy to understand and detect grief in children. Some children, she says, grieve in doses, crying one minute then playing the next. Others experience changes in eating, sleeping, and behaviour patterns. They also fear sleeping alone or wetting the bed, sucking their thumb, or becoming frustrated and restless. Sadly, some parents take these as the child being moody or just being naughty for their age. Mostly in Botswana, children are beaten if they wet the bed and even threatened when they start sulking or sucking the thumb. Children can grieve the loss of a pet or toy, friends at school, death of a parent or caregiver, change in the school environment, divorce, and loss of a sibling or teacher among other things. “When mourning, the most important thing they need is guidance in absorbing and adapting to the fact that someone has died and will not be seen again. Minors need to be taught how to cope with emotions and other changes resulting from loss and develop a new type of relationship or attachment with the deceased based on remembrance,” Dr. Selemogwe-Matsetse said. The mental health expert shared that there is a need for re-assurance and reinvesting in life, moving forward, and absorbing the experience into their lives. Children are capable of searching for meaning from the experience of death and it can be very confusing. “Even at a very young age, children will be aware that their parents or other adults are sad or having difficulties with loss. Sharing your feelings of sadness and loss with a child can help them understand why you are sad and see that it is alright to be sad and to express their sadness,” she said. Death can also cause children to worry about their parents or themselves dying. “Reassure them that everyone is safe and care for them during times of grief.” A statistical health report of 2016 analysing out-patient consultations about mental health disorders in Botswana shows that the leading mental health consultations in the 0-14 age group are a disturbance of activity and attention. It accounts for 27.8 percent followed by Epilepsy unspecified with 21.7 percent and unspecified Mental Retardation at 8.2 percent.