Polygamist advise on marriage

Sekati Kemmonye Sekati, a polygamous married and successful businessman, says it is high time the marriage institution evolves to accommodate the new.

In an interview with The Midweek Sun, Sekati, a polygamist with two wives, says it is important for marriages today to adapt new ways of life, especially looking at the fact that things have changed, and marriage should no longer be viewed as it was years ago. He says among significant changes is that the cost of living has gone up significantly and mostly when a man marries a wife, he no longer expects her to be a house-wife and this changes the dynamics of who has to do the house work. He adds that husbands need to appreciate that their wives are co-earners of money in the home and would not necessarily be engrossed in cleaning, cooking, washing among other activities in the home at all times. “Expectations on your wife are likely to change,” he said. Sekati also adds that societal expectations of what a man is, and what a woman is, and what they should be doing determines how couples adapt, therefore should change. “If you refuse change under such circumstances, it is likely that we will continue to have marriages that collapse.” According to Sekati, it is no longer viable for married couples to have a large number of children, contrary to society’s expectations, because the cost of living comes into play. He further adds that one of the changes is that while it was normal for a new bride to stay with in-laws after marriage and engage in activities of cooking and cleaning for the rest of the family, that is no longer practical. He explains that nowadays, as soon as a young couple marries, they go and live their separate lives away from parents. “Shortly after marriage, the couple is expected to go back to work. Marriages need to be able to adapt and survive in the current environment,” said Sekati. Sekati said adapting to the new will reduce cultural standards and expectations and by so doing, married couples will be able to focus on nurturing their marriages and allowing them to flourish without external pressure. “Evolution is such that the community has to be constantly aware of what is happening, and adapt,” Sekati opined.