An unsettling case of mistaken identity

There is this guy who one evening decided to go out for drinks at a bar.

The golden liquids flowed like Gabs and Nnywane dams after an episode of ex-cyclone Dineo. By 11pm he was inebriated and the devils of fornication were knocking. He could not resist the urges; he wanted to partake in adult recreational activities that night. Since there was no one waiting for him at home, he pursued a few women but he was not in luck. Just as he was staggering out of the bar, he bumped into a young lady dressed in a top and skinny jeans, with make-up lathered on her face, sporting a fashionable fade-cut. The lady was a nymph with a slender figure; you know what they say, slender never gets tired! Urged on by Dutch confidence, he offered her a drink and stated his case. The lady agreed to go home with him. As they left the bar, the guy walked with his chest puffed out like he had landed a multi-million Pula tender. The lady seemed eloquent with her body; her hips did not lie, and she sashayed like an invisible force was gently moving her side to side. When they got into the car, the guy decided to marinate the lady, to prepare her for the deeds of tigers and rabbits. He began smooching and groping her. His exploring hands suddenly went down where the sun does not shine, and touched. He suddenly paused, thinking that his mind was playing tricks on him. He touched again. He stared at the lady in shock and exclaimed, ‘Heela tlhe, a naare o monna?!’ The ‘lady’ caressed his cheek and whispered, ‘O skaa

baby, o tla tlwaela…’ Whether we want to admit it or not, transsexuals, transgender, androgynous, intersex and homosexual individuals exist in our community. A transgender is defined as a person who emotionally and psychologically feels that they belong to the opposite sex. They are sometimes referred to as a person who has undergone treatment in order to acquire the physical characteristics of the opposite sex. We tend to refer to all minority gender groups as gay. But gay is a surface definition limited to sexual relations with someone of the same gender. There are many “gay” people in our society, some who have girlfriends or boyfriends, are married and have children. Some partake in these activities out of sexual lust (they lead a double life and are often called ‘After 9’ because they “change teams” at night). Others are “economic homosexuals” (financial gain) while others are still in the closet and fear being open out of fear and shame. But there are other minority groups who are faced with more pressing challenges that lead to them having to be put on medication or suffering an identity crisis, which can have negative psychological effects. Research indicates that transgender and homosexuals have existed in many societies, including African society, for ages. In some African communities, they were even respected and referred to as ngozis, (semi-gods) because they were believed to be highly intelligent, talented and spiritually gifted. Socially, the acceptance and social integration of transgender persons varies but they often co-exist with gender variant and heterosexuals. Unfortunately, there are still few to no resources dedicated to the education and sensitisation of what a transgender person is, their lifestyle and challenges. Due to this, they struggle to get assistance at police stations, health facilities, as well as civil and national registration departments. They are also not offered sexual education and trained on social integration. The challenges they face are many as most do not comprehend or embrace them because their form goes against what we think is biologically normal. We recently heard of a Motswana transgender who was ridiculed by police officers. These officers, whose role is to protect society, clearly lacked empathy and respect. Mocking a transgender is like making fun of an ugly person- it is dumb because they did not choose to be that way. I think as a society, we have double standards and selective morality. We tend to think that everyone is and should be like us, and when we personally don’t accept or tolerate something, we think it’s wrong. We may not embrace minority sex groups but we have to respect the fact that their rights should not be limited by ignorance, prejudice or bigotry. So, be nice,