On mjolo “flames” and the rise in GBV

I recall a few weeks ago I was at one of the local malls, minding my own business as usual, and there was an incident where one chap stabbed his lover with a knife several times following a fiery lovers’ tiff.

The last I heard, the lady was fighting for her life in hospital, together with the man who was subjected to merciless mob justice. From the little I established, the two had a misunderstanding and went to the police who advised them to solve their issues at home. It seems the man was so incensed when the lady suggested that they break up, and out of anger he stabbed her. Perhaps the lady missed the memo: monna wa Motswana ga o mo tlhale semmuso, o dira sengwe hela se se borang gore a ikobe ene ka bo ene. Khi! But there is no doubt that the attack was possibly pre-meditated. I mean, who carries a knife around?! Cases of GBV and killings of passion are on the rise in our society and it is disturbing. Almost every week we hear or read of some unsavoury incident involving lovers. O a kgaphisa mjolo neh. But mjolo is fine. The problem is some people. Batho ba bangwe e ka re ga ba na letsopa la go ratana. Mjolo o monate hela, go na le calm and peace,

o lokiwe ka love and respect. E ka re go ka lela dipina tsa bo Teddy Pendagrass. Eseng mo ka moso, hee wee cheating, ka moso hee wee madi, ka moso hee wee o mongwe o iteile o mongwe. Come on! I am a sucker for love and romance, and one of the people who still believe in true love. I feel we should develop perception of love and relationships. For one, there is no man who would hurt a woman he loves. As a woman, once a man raises his voice at you, beats or ill treats you, it shows that he doesn’t really love or respect you. Generally, human beings look out for and protect the people that they love and value. Yes, people make mistakes, but the mistakes should be few and wide apart. Once a certain behaviour recurs, it is not a mistake but a habit. Unfortunately, some women are socialised to tolerate abuse so even if a man does something bad, there is no accountability. Ka moso fa a neelwa e-wallet kana a rekelwa phone, o a lebala until next time another incident comes up. O bona di relationship tsa madi tsone, ga di ke di ya teng. Mo monna o tla bo a batliwa madi kgwedi le kgwedi e ka re go duelwa instalment ya higher purchase...

Ng ng. Fa monna a sena madi, suddenly

o bonwa e le ‘rrabaki’ kana ‘rrankoborwane.’ Women should be socialised to be hard workers, financially independent and earn their own money. Financial independence doesn’t only empower you, it also has a bearing on the quality and type of people you date because you are not spurred by desperation but because you are in love and feel that your chosen partner is someone you can have a family with. Gape madi a monate o a bereketse, o a ja a o a gautsa ka pelo e tshweu, o itse gore ga gona yo tlileng go nnela go go batla marago corner le corner, a go tlhomisa ka tlhogo, a go dira dilonyana, a go tsenya malwetsi kana a itsutlha ka wena ka gore o feeler gore o a mo kolota.

While it does happen, it is rare to hear of independent women being abused because when things sour, she can move on knowing that she can afford to take care of herself a sa tshwenye ngwana wa ga ope ka go mo batla madi. In some cases, out of desperation, some women, particularly in black communities, resort to using muti on men but those things backfire badly! I recall a few years ago, The Midweek Sun carried a story where some elderly woman stated that one of the reasons some men become aggressive and violent and beat and kill women is because some ladies use juju on them. An associate in the legal fraternity once reiterated this concern. It could be true. Kana ditlhare go na le fa di felelang teng, di a chenyempologa. Kamoso motho o tla bo rwele matsogo mo tlhogong, ka di blue eye, ba mo trapile... kante ke di ‘side effects’ tsa ditlhare tseo. But on a serious note, we need to encourage healthy socialisation and intimate relationships in our black communities. We have inculcated a culture of ‘toxic love’ and it doesn’t end well. When two people meet and start a relationship, assuming it is one anticipated to lead to marriage, they should be on the same page, and take time to know and understand each other with a common goal in mind. The problem is that nowadays ‘quick quick’ relationships seem to be the in thing. And some people premise relationships on money and sex or just getting married, which is not a good foundation. Sex and money are not enough. The same way love alone is not enough. You need a more solid foundation and a sustainable goal for any relationship. A relationship or marriage requires vision. Even when things don’t work out, it’s OK to call it quits in peace. Lo tla leka gape

next time fa Modimo a dumetse, kana lo phuaganye hela fa go sa bereke. Ga go lowe. There is no need to start badmouthing the other person or fighting and butchering each other. The common problem is that some people, particularly men, enter a relationship with an end in mind without openly communicating their expectations, and when they don’t get whatever they wanted, they become bitter, particularly in cases where they feel like they lost money. Ba re ‘ba jelwe.’ Mme kana ga gona ope yo o patelediwang sepe. We all make choices and have to accept the consequences. Waitse borre ba malatsi a fela fa a ntsha P500, ka moso a re, ‘o jelwe.’ Lo rile lo tla kgona. Go na le banna ba ba diretseng basadi go le gontsi,ba ba tsenya dikolo, ba tlhokomela bana ba eseng ba bone, ba reka dikoloi, bangwe e bile ba agile matlo a makima kima a ba iseng ba nne mo go one. Fa o ka botsa bo mdala ba ko bo Kanye, Gabane, Molepolole etc , ba tla lo bolelela gore, ‘Ke agile ntlo ele’ jalo jalo. When they realised that they were duped, they just accepted their losses and licked their wounds. It didn’t occur to them to kill another person’s child. Mongwe le mongwe o ja ‘ee’ wa gagwe!