EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE CAN SAVE LIVES IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

The world over, married men have killed women they were cheating with to stay out of trouble. How ironic!

In their minds, they believe eliminating their mistress, and ending their own lives thereafter ends their woes.

It is beyond comprehension to think that a man with a wife and children can go out of their matrimonial home and get entangled in such. Most of these married men who kill their mistresses, come to a point where they believe that they have to do all in their power to avoid getting caught in a lie. But often times than not, using a lie to cover a lie, only leads to one thing, disaster!

Some have killed their lovers upon discovering that they were pregnant. For others, the murder was a solution to the problem of living a double life. In some instances, the side chick would have threatened to leave them.

While reasons vary from one case to the other, their stories have some things in common desperation and brutality.

During this year’s 16 Days of Activism against Gender Based Violence, it is important to take note of risk factors that may suggest that someone is in danger in their relationship. They include prior threats to kill, excessive alcohol and drug use, an escalation in violence and an intuitive sense of fear by the victim. It is better to do something about these signs before something unfortunate happens, than to talk about how we saw the signs before the fact.

The unfortunate fact is that while there is awareness and public education, as well as initiatives aimed at preventing such violence, some members of the community, neighbours, friends and family may suspect domestic violence but are unwilling to intervene. As a result they downplay the risk.

Some situations should just be avoided. Some women, especially on social media talk openly and candidly about being in ‘dangerous’ relationships. And so do men. It is sometimes seen as something to joke about and laugh about, with no care at all about how risky this behaviour can be.

It is risky to get involved in such entanglements because emotions can run amok causing some people to act in unexpected ways. Who would know what really goes on in the mind of a married man who knowing very well that he has a wife and children takes a gun, shoots his mistress and turns the gun on himself? Some commentators have promoted emotional intelligence as one effective way to deal with such societal challenges. This is the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage and handle or control emotions. They are convinced that when one has developed their emotional intelligence, they will be able to make the right decisions no matter how difficult and pressing their situation is.