The illusion of perfect motherhood

Mothers are expected to be perfect but they possibly cannot be, and are not. With high expectations placed upon them, they are also afraid to admit that they have weaknesses and shortcomings because in the eyes of everyone, a mother is supposed to hold everything together. They are supposed to know how to fend for their children, how to raise them well, as well as discipline them and grow them into responsible, successful adults.

With the advent of social media, these high expectations have only heightened the pressure on mothers. But social media is often an illusion. But those that take it on face value, often fall for the trick and believe that they fall way below par. Many mothers struggle with insecurities of whether they are the perfect mother they are expected to be.

This narrative has driven a lot of mothers, regardless of age over the edge. Mothers have been placed on a pedestal only to come crushing down at their point of weakness. A lot is excused for fathers, but the same cannot be extended to mothers. Many suffer from mental health illnesses that go unnoticed for a lot time, only to be revealed when disaster strikes. Many of their circumstances, especially concerning their children, drive them up the wall. This applies to all mothers, whether to a newborn, a toddler, an adolescent or teenager.

It is easy to look over the fence and pass judgment on how other mothers raise their children because you are not in the same situation. You probably have no idea what they are dealing with but somehow believe your way could be a better way. All mothers should forget the idea of being perfect but strive to be ‘good enough.’ Unfortunately, even among themselves, mothers compete about raising children. Those raising toddlers believe that they could do a better job if their children were teenagers, while on the other hand those raising adolescents believe that the way they raised their children when they were younger was the best. The truth of the matter is that you can have an idea of the best way to be a mother, but when you apply it to reality, it never pans out exactly how you want it because life has many surprises.

Motherhood is an adventure. Things are constantly in flux. You cannot be a perfect mother because motherhood is not an idea, but a real relationship and no human relationship is perfect. The fact that your motherhood is not perfect could actually be what prepares your children for life because the real world is not going to offer them perfect relationships and perfect situations either. As a mother be secure, comfortable and confident in your role as a real mother who does the best for her children in all circumstances. Children should realise that imperfect is also okay.