Of friendships based on what you can get

When focused people are exploring crowd funding as an alternative to acquiring finance for their businesses, some people are coercing others to make unplanned financial contributions to fund their fun.

It is time we explore crowd funding for businesses and not parties. Crowd funding is the process of raising money to fund what is typically a project or business venture through many donors. But the trend now is that this noble concept is misused. Nowadays, it has become normal and simple for people to create WhatsApp groups specifically to gather ‘friends’ to make financial contributions to their fun projects like birthday parties, bridal showers, baby showers, graduation parties and many more. The idea of contributing financially as friends towards another friend’s event is not entirely wrong, in fact it has worked wonderfully, where all involved are genuine and appreciate and value the relationship. But unfortunately, it becomes problematic when it is done for the sake of gathering as much money as possible even from people you would not ordinarily relate with. Nowadays you can suddenly be added to a WhatsApp group, by someone you last saw or spoke to many years ago, sometimes even by a stranger. What is annoying the most is that no one will have the courtesy to let you know the objectives and purpose of the group. You will only discover later that you have been cornered when demands for financial contributions start coming. And dare try to exit, they will come at you with guns blazing. You might have been friends at some point in your lives, but having been friends at secondary school, does not mean that 20, 30 years later, you can still relate the way you did as children. Not everyone from your past will be happy and willing to be part of the organization of your stag party, and you have to understand that. We all acknowledge that hosting a party or an event can be a major undertaking and expensive, however, if you cannot afford it, do not drag anyone into it. Generally, when you host and invite people for a party, you are expected to pay for it. Asking your friends and acquaintances to fund your ‘do’ is impolite, rude and uncalled for, unless there is some agreement concerning the same. So avoid it by all means. It is a very tacky thing to live beyond your means and ask others to pay your way. Either have a party you can afford, or don’t have a party at all.

Seriously consider using the “put your money where your mouth is” option, and save well on time to be able to execute your plan. And if your savings do not meet the expectation of your budget, cut it down, and host a modest event that you will enjoy with friends and relatives without added strain in relationships. Avoid offending people you plan to entertain. If you intend to ask guests to bring something towards your event, it is important to make it clear from the beginning. For example, you could propose that while you will provide food, drinks and entertainment for guests, if they have special preferences in terms of drinks, they could bring some for themselves.