Coping with the trials and tribulations of marriage

Marriage was meant to be enjoyed thoroughly by those who submit themselves to God’s plan and design. While it is true that marriage is wonderful, it is equally true that it comes with its own challenges, trials and hardships. For many, marriage begins as an adventure of two people who fused their plans with the hope of living happily ever after. What sometimes begins as a love story can often end in tragedy. What is your marriage like since you started some years ago, is it what you envisioned or hoped for? Is it what you signed up for at the courts or at church? Did you ever imagine it would ever turn out the way it has? Have your dreams been dashed and your hopes crushed? What has smashed your marriage and frustrated your dreams? The answers to these questions will differ from person to person. I wish to focus on some major mishaps with the potential to reduce a marriage to an abnormal relationship that started off well and has now deteriorated into chaos. I guess the one thing that ranks high on such a list would be the extra-marital affair. Either party to the marriage can be guilty of this for whatever reason. The knowledge that your spouse is having or had an extra-marital affair is damaging, to say the least. The feelings of betrayal, anger, bitterness, resentment and vengeance are all mixed up in your mind. You don’t know what to do or say! You are at a loss for words to describe the pain you are going through.

You don’t know what your next move is. You don’t know who to tell or confide in and you are uncertain as to who will really understand your dilemma. A brief answer from me would be for you to seek help from a reputable counsellor who can help you through your hurt. Another major setback in marriage can be the discovery of a terminal illness that has far-reaching effects on your whole life-style. Diagnosis of a terminal disease can be very aggravating, and again you can be filled with mixed feelings ranging from trauma and shock to disappointment and suicidal thoughts. The word ‘disease’ is made up of two words, namely; ‘dis’ and ‘ease’ which means you are experiencing a condition that has disturbed the ease with which you have been used to living your life. Your life is basically disrupted and requires intervention of some sort before your situation gets worse. Another major condition that can change the state of a marriage is when one experiences disability due to illness or accident. Being made immobile as a result of a stroke that causes paralysis can greatly change things in a marriage. Such disability requires more attention, greater affection and sometimes may cost more for therapy and medications. A lot of patience and understanding is needed in such situations. These are not things we normally plan for in life but they do happen and often catch us unawares.