Death, the dark passage to eternal life

We all love to live of course, and not to die. But mortal life is nothing else but a pleasure ride that we embark upon to please the flesh. Indeed, everyone eventually comes to this realisation! And when that truth dawns, then begins the search for the meaning of life.

This search for the meaning of life, has been and is every man’s enduring struggle, sometimes referred to as the ‘Armageddon’, for indeed every soul must at some point reckon with its existence and purpose for and of its being. Think about it, what activity, vocation or effort have you ever engaged in that ever brought you peace, calmness, contentment or, as some say, nirvana? Not football, not binge drinking, not lust or fornication, not politics, not religion, nor food or movies – it can only be when you withdraw from the world and seek the purpose of your life.

Anything else is temporary and transient. Certainly, in this state – the mortal state – we are groaning and yearning for freedom, but the desires of the flesh, which by all means, we must satiate, keep us in bondage, and most of the time, far away from communion with our Maker.

For we must seek Him at this time., We cannot, and we dare not wait upon ‘death’ - as known in the conventional sense - to hope to seek His face, for if we do that we deceive only ourselves. But, then where do we look, where do we go to search?

If you think about it, the circle of pain, suffering and death that we experience throughout our lives, serves as a constant reminder, a rude awakening, a jolt and a stirring of man’s conscience to examine and re-examine his earthly trod, or better still, to find himself.

So, when the news reached us that a bus carrying pilgrims from Molepolole to Moria, Limpopo Province in South Africa had tumbled on a bridge leading to the demise of all on board, we immediately remembered our purpose!

This circle of death has been playing out in Gaza, in Palestine as Gazans face the brutal onslaught at the hands of Israel, we see it in Somalia, in Central African Republic, in the eastern DRC, we see it in the ongoing proxy war between Russia and Ukraine, as it manifests in terrorist attacks, allegedly planned and executed by ISIS!

These sufferings, these wars, these deaths are designed to remind us that we all belong to the Human Family, that we are blessed with superior faculties and attributes, far superior than the rest of the animals in the animal kingdom – and that is, our ability to reason and talk.

All conflicts are products of misunderstanding, but strife and warfare cannot end them, except only to perpetuate them. All wars and all conflicts eventually end at the negotiation table.

So, my brothers and sisters, where do we search? It seems to me that our progenitors lived a lived a life of piety – they exuded a sense of selflessness that connected them to a higher spiritual realm – whatever they called it, and however primitive we might today think of their practices.

Our forebears did not attach any value to clothes that adorn and cover the body. Neither did they ascribe or apportion race in terms of colouration or skin pigmentation. They were okay with the bare minimum of animal hides for clothing. Instead, their joy was in providing for their children. But what about us today?

We are fashion freaks, we invest our hard-earned monies in branded clothing, in fast foods and in rentals. We have relegated the needs of our children, their health and education, to the background. You see, our progenitors knew very well that the soul rings and lives eternally – hence their practice of ‘Mogoga’ – and the naming of new-borns after the departed. Actually, in true African culture, we would be doing everything in our means to ensure that the spirits of all the pilgrims that perished in that tragic bus accident, are collected and repatriated back home to Molepolole!

Our forebears understood these things and practised them in their social and cultural rituals, sometimes to appease their deities, to request health and good fortune or as obeisance. These age-old practices reconciled man and nature, and allowed both to coexist in perfect harmony.

But with the advent of racism/ white supremacy disguised as western imperialism, aided and abetted at its formative stages by the Missionaries, our fathers were brutalised to forsake and despise their ways of life, they were told their practices were barbaric and that the newcomer was here to ‘civilise’ them.

Now, we know better! We know how they plundered with reckless abandon, our rich cultural heritage, looted our treasure troves, plagiarised our philosophies, and how they trafficked our obelisks, and cultural artefacts to their museums and hoarded our engravings and hieroglyphics in their libraries, such that today, the whole of Africa is demanding restitution and repatriation of its cultural objects.

The wolves in sheep’s skin, they preached to our forebears, a heaven in the sky while they were busy establishing here on earth, white supremacy - a behavioural system designed as a compensation for white genetic inadequacy, as the renowned clinical psychiatrist, Dr Francess Welsing would say.

Dr Welsing, in her Cress Theory of Colour Confrontation and later the ISIS Papers, demonstrated how pervasive this system of racism/white supremacy is, as it encompasses all areas of people’s activities – economics, education, entertainment, labour, law, religion, sex and war.

These agents of racism gave our people a pie in the sky, while they carved for themselves acres and acres of our land and held it in perpetual title!

They stole our faith and sold us a dummy. Like Berhaine Selassie says, ‘hatred, they rewarded for our love’. And, the schemers they are, they have not and will never atone for their evil deeds, instead they continue to this day, as if our people, who’ve walked in darkness, have not seen the great light!

But let it be known that Africans now realise what you have done and are continuing to do, and stand ready to dismantle your white supremacy and establish a system of justice. You can no longer fool us. To scupper the African and mess up his mind, you have profaned his gods by your temerity to name terror groups after them!

And in your perverted attempt to rob us of our true heritage, you have usurped our scriptures and sacred writings and in their stead handed us a phony canon! Wake up Africa, and live. I say that we must die to the old nature and be renewed in spirit to fight, not flesh and blood, but spiritual powers, domains and principalities that govern the realms of reasoning and prevent us from fulfilling the purpose of our lives and reclaiming our position in the pantheon of humanity.

Because we are raised in a sex negative society that views sex from an angle of fear, oppression, and stigma, we do not often openly talk about sex, we see it as a dirty, dangerous, unnatural and uncontrollable act which of course, is not the truth. Some of the stereotypes about sex positivity are around having lots of sex, but like I already stated, sex positivity is different for everyone, so while having a lot of consensual sexual activity is a preference for other people, other people may engage in less sex or abstain completely from sex and that is okay.

When it comes to sex negativity, women are often at the receiving end. We are raised and socialised to believe that it is shameful for a woman to desire sex, that women should have sex for procreation and even when they do not get pleasure from that they should not complain. We are made to believe that when it comes to sex men must always take the lead and women should be content even if they are not sexually satisfied, otherwise they will bruise their man’s ego. All these expectations and norms have created a lot of stigma for women who sexually express themselves, labelling them in derogatory terms. This is even worse for women who have sex with other women; some have been raped by men to “show them what they are missing” and are constantly being bashed for “trying to be men” and doing “unnatural” acts.

The same stigma and violence is also seen in the violence against queer people. The world is so sex negative that a lot of countries still criminalise consensual sex between same sex adults; imagine not being able to sexually express yourself with your partner because someone else thinks it is disgusting. Sex workers are also often shamed and violated for commercialising sex, a clear sign of sexual oppression and wanting to police other people’s bodies. In Botswana, rape culture is still a problem because victims are often blamed and we hear comments like: “What was she wearing?”… “Why did you accept his drink?” … “She just wants to ruin his life,”… “She is a bitter woman,”… “Shouldn’t he be happy since he likes men?” The way we glamourise sexual offences is also a problem, for example why call it correctional rape when it is in fact homophobic rape? These statements and the language we use normalises sexual violence and disregard people’s human rights. Sex positivity fights the rape culture by emphasising the need for consent and respect for body autonomy.

By highlighting the sex negativity towards women, I am not saying that sex positivity is for women only. Like I mentioned earlier, because women are socialised to shun sex and some even hate parts of their bodies, they do not get to learn the most intimate parts of their sexual health. Men on the other hand are taught that to show that they are “real men,” they must engage in lots of sex with different people (as long as those different people are not other men). This kind of socialisation is harmful as it does not encourage people of all genders to seek to understand their own sexuality and to engage in relationships that honour and affirm their desires. The “men should,” and “women should,” also does not carry any water because it excludes other people who do not identify as men and women, or those who do not subscribe to society’s ideas of male and female role expressions.

In conclusion, being sex positive is allowing people the liberty to engage in sexual acts with anyone they want, in whatever way they want as long as all parties consent. The concepts of consent and communication, being open minded and informed are great, and do not mean that you are now obliged to try out kinks that make you uncomfortable or feel unsafe or required to push your limitations/boundaries even if you feel uncomfortable. It also means that people who choose to abstain from sex for personal reasons are just as sex positive as those who choose to do it, as long as there is no shaming, judgement, or coercion.