Attitude gives life some taste
Iam an aggrieved sister in the early 30s and have a younger sister aged 24 and she is the peril to my agony. Ever since her mid teenage stage, she went astray and started to behave in a very bad, shameful and agonising way. She started sleeping around with different older man. When you trace her you will be gearing towards a confusing and surprising journey. It is always; “she was here for two weeks and I found her gone, you can check her at Someone X’s house”. When you go to Someone X’s house, unfortunately it is always the same story.
We lost our mother when we were very young, especially her. We grew up under our father’s care. My father of course cannot be a mother. I tried to be that to my little sister but our efforts seemed to have failed us. My little sister fell pregnant at 20 and even to date, we do not know who the father of the baby is. She does not look after the baby at all but all she does is binge drinking all day, moving from one alcohol depot to the other. She is always drunk.
The uncles have made efforts to counsel and rebuke her character but the same problem persists and it grows rapidly. I feel that she is living on a thin line and she is at risk of losing her life. I pray so that it does not to happen. I love my sister and I wish I could do more to rescue her from the doom that faces her life. Please help Coach. Yours,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry about your little sister and everything she is going through. You are such a great sister to reach out in the quest to revive her life and shed more light onto her. First thing is that you and Daddy are not lovers because the fight is not yet over since our beloved is still alive. I can only encourage you not to lose focus on this journey.
Sometimes you can give someone all the love you feel you possess for them but they still continue to behave in an odd way and you wonder what prompts such a character. The perpetrators, most of the time, are not really proud of what they do. We may take them for counselling with great professionals in the field, they would not manage to heal such a soul. Why is this? Life begins in the spiritual realm hence there may be some forces that influence and monitor her life.
Has she been named after someone in your genealogical lineage? What sort of spirituality does your roots embrace? All of these questions can be answered and understood if the application is approached in a spiritual context. Otherwise, please do not mock or speak negative towards her, rather, motivate her so that she feels that she is cherished and appreciated. Sometime how we speak to others affects them psychologically since their esteem, confidence would be low. This will make thing so difficult for you to be able to transform her into the better woman you wish she could be.
Please consult your spiritual leaders so that you establish the root cause of her unwanted behaviour. Lure her with the good treatment so that her self- esteem is well groomed and could work some magic in her transformation.
Dear Coach,
My heart is so swelling with some agonising pain. I lost my best friend through death after having a very lengthy conversation as usual and it was one of the jollies I have ever had with him. He apparently succumbed to a short illness after our call and he submitted to death. He was my togo-to person in everything. We sat next to each other at work and made a lot of noise , teasing others and making funny jokes. My space is going to be very quite and there will never be an atmosphere he brewed ever again.
Everyone called him their own funny name and he had a way of naming us. Code names and just funny names. He was the king of vibes, wherever he was people must be wild and lose themselves. He was known affectionately as “The Bishop”. We used to travel together, at least every once in three months, somewhere for a breather and talk our issues, ideas and future aspirations.
He was my rebuker, advisor and cheerleader. Our bond had grown so strong that I was treated as one of his own in his family and so was he to mine. I have never had a day without eating on the same plate with him except only when one of us was on leave.
Colleagues called us twins and everybody knew that one of us must be around if they saw one of us.
I really do not know how life is going to be without him. Who am I going to open up to easily and share my deepest skeletons in my closet? I feel that I have been robbed of a good friend. How do I come to terms with the fact that he is no more? I am so shattered Coach, and I really do not understand what life is anymore if good people can be lost this easy. Yours,
Anonymous
Dear Coach,
Dear Anonymous,
Death is no one’s ally and it will forever remain an enemy since it makes our beloved disappear from the phase of earth. It is not an easy thing to lose someone whom you have a strong bond with you but everything and everyone has their limited span on earth. It is how it is. Human beings are mortal hence we are like grass, we grow to wither. It is unfortunate that it is not announced as to when one will depart the earth but it happens just suddenly. We are never prepared for it hence the grieve you are experiencing.
The orchestrator of death is God and His word is final. He will never do anything without a course. When earth loses someone, heaven gains an angel therefore it is through death that one is promoted to another rank of life in the spiritual realm. He may not be visible before your sight but he exists in the atmosphere.
He will be your guardian angel and provide for all that you are questioning at the moment. When you lose something, you gain something and when you gain, something must be lost. You sure have gathered so many memories that paint a legacy he has left for you to embrace and live to keep his spirit alive. Please accept that he is no more and start celebrating him instead of mourning.
#ColoringSouls
Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is a Life Coach, Author, Columnist, Team Builder and an Events Director who believes that emotions build an attitude which ultimately builds one’s character. Forward your enquiries to krcoloringsouls@gmail.com or WhatsApp +26772522213 for advices.
The orchestrator of death is God and His word is final