It’s my darned right

The World is populated by people fighting for their rights. The world is populated by people fighting for other people’s rights. The world is populated by people fighting for animal rights. Until there’s a rights group with some external funding, you would never know or appreciate some of these rights. Obviously the vigour sustains until the funds run out but when the funds are still there not many legislators will get to sleep.

There’s no attempt here to demean their importance. Usually after they stir the pot, that is when these rights issues are taken seriously and legislators start to take them seriously. It seems in every corner of the world there’s someone denying people their rights to something.

On Saturday there was a big game that pitted a local team Jwaneng Galaxy against a South African team, Orlando Pirates. Half of the city descended on the National Stadium and I sat next to a gentleman who had no morsel of guilt in pulling out a cigarette, lighting it and puffing away. It was one of those cigarette brands that owe their place on smokers’ lips due to the onset of COVID-19. Remember cigarettes – proper, regulated ones – were not in circulation during the zenith of COVID-19 fury and people developed an affinity for the cheaper, smuggled ones christened Lengwanda.

Later on when the government decided to give smokers back their smoking rights, half the puffing brigade was too broke to go back to the more expensive brands. When you hear people drop statements like ‘But this cigarette brand is just ok’ know that it is not their preference and they would rather be smoking something. Many have decided to stay with this cheaper brand and I bet it will be until they start coughing large amounts of trachea.

Anyway back to the guy at the football match. He made it clear to everyone who cared to listen that he had a right to smoke. Protests of the ‘your right to smoke stops where my nose begins’ variety were quickly expunged as the Lengwanda -smoking fan dared everyone who has an issue with his smoking to a fight. His team wasn’t doing so well out on the pitch and he was therefore under a lot of stress. There seems to be a direct correlation between stress and smoking, which science still has to unpack. So those of us who were seated around him were turned into reluctant smokers. Basically, the match was turned into a complete smoking clinic and don’t rule out the possibility of a few Lengwanda converts from this episode.

However, a knight in shining armour of sorts came to our rescue. A wafer-thin woman whose butt was yet to arrive from heaven got tired of inhaling secondary smoke and being denied their right to clean air. That type is usually ready for battle and seems to have some of that biblical David’s – the one who slayed Goliath – blood coursing through their system. It didn’t matter that the cigarette had more butt than her and that the Lengwanda guy had challenged everyone to a fight. Slim Kim wasted no time and plucked the cigarette from his mouth and stubbed it out. The bemused smoker shorn of his smoke-emitting ornament was all but turned into a paper tiger. This was a Samson versus Delilah replay. And Samson lost yet again! (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQAaccredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com.

Slim Kim wasted no time and plucked the cigarette from his mouth and stubbed it out