Confessions: Diversion window to a sound life
Iam a married man aged 48 and I have been married for the past 13 years to an amazing and beautiful woman. She is very loving, and always present for me in time of my need. The best thing that any man can ever desire. It is very unfortunate that my wife is unable to bear children. We have tried to procreate the rest of our lives even prior our marriage. We have consulted so many doctors, I have even lost count of how many thus far, and still unfortunately, nothing happened for us.
One day, I met some other young lady on my business trip and we started giving each other some attention at a conventional meeting held in Cape Town. She was the only person from my country at the convention hence it was obvious to feel secure around her and vice-versa. We indulged in some alcohol and ultimately started being intimate. The relationship has been going on now for two years secretly.
I have done everything beneath the carpets so that my wife does not find out but I am in a lot trouble that I have never thought I could be. My side chick is pregnant.
Part of me is so ecstatic while the other is shuttering apart. I am happy because I have an heir to my legacy and broken because my wife is going to be extremely unhappy. Moreover, I am afraid of divorce. How do I handle this case Coach. I am so stuck, it feels like the walls are closing me in. I am suffocating Coach.
Yours,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
First let me congratulate you for becoming a father even though you did it under what the society may deem as a sinister fashion. We cannot judge you though, but we can share advices.
I believe in openness and transparency. When you open up to someone, the load that you are carrying on your shoulders weakens. It will not feel the same as when you are bottling it.
Being bottled creates a lot of anxiety and stress for you because you will always wonder how the outcomes will exhibit themselves to you and there is nothing positive to think about. Sometimes, the anxiety exposes us and our partners could see that there is something bothering us. We are prone to making endless mistakes and eventually lose what we wanted to protect at all cost.
I will suggest that you take your wife to a nice and relaxing environment, where it would be the two of you. Before you start the conversation, admit that you are wrong and apologise for your wrong doings. But know that you may be accepted or rejected after that. Make peace with whatever consequences she would project. It is better you tell her because she will see your sincerity and the trust may be better restored. If she will find out on her own, it will break her to the core and your marriage may never survive the catastrophic scandal. Talk loosens the whirlpool of the situation.
#ColoringSouls
Dear Coach,
I am 35-year-old woman who loves God so dearly and I want to uphold the Christian principles and values as per the word of Christ. I have the desire to also go to heaven but my dilemma has made heaven a far-fetched dream. I work in a company that supplies fuel and my best friend is also my colleague.
It has come to my attention that my best friend is involved in a syndicate that steals fuel lubricant products and sell in the black market at a lesser fee.
This has had a very detrimental impact on the business and its general performance. I know that most people involved are trying to make ends meet since our salaries are too low to cover the cost of living. Reality is, they are doing it for their families yet it is very wrong.
I am afraid to report the matter because I know that their families are going to suffer more if they are fired. In fact, the policy says if one indulges in such proceedings they will be fired. What should I do because both of the parties I want to protect are liable to lose big time. I am so in a fix, please assist Coach.
Yours,
Anonymous Dear Anonymous,
Well, it is indeed a dilemma because you are both trying to protect the people and the company that you love. But a true Christian will report the matter because it takes honesty to see heaven. Sometimes, God does put us in these positions to test our trust and believe in Him thus He puts you in a corner that will toss and topple you all over.
The honesty is that, if you do not report the matter, it means you are also involved because you continue to give the syndicate a window to corrupt the business even further.
What if their stealing collapses the business? Your family will surely suffer from your unemployment. Your friends know the principles to be upheld yet they decide to go astray deliberately. You do not steal to augment your current sufferings. If they have complaints about wages, they must address them properly instead of stealing.
You can tip your managers anonymously and your friends won’t know anything about it. God will know about it and your path to heaven shall be paved clearly. Your friend is his/her own enemy, not you because s/he caused that on her/himself.
#ColoringSouls
Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is the Founder and Director of Coloring Souls Coaching. A Training Consultancy advocating for MIND-SET CHANGE. It is accredited by BQA and HRDC. For team building exercise bookings contact +267 72 522 213/ +267 71 830 584 or email kealebogan@coloringsouls.co.bw for quotations.
When you open up to someone, the load that you are carrying on your shoulders weakens