ADDICTION IN THE FAMILY

THE enforcement of the Extreme Social Distancing measures in April 2020 due to COVID-19 saw many families forced to stay together for extended periods of time.

This change - although very welcome - to deal with the spread of the Coronavirus, brought various challenges to some families. During this time a number of families came to the realisation that their loved ones use substances, especially illicit substances.

From marijuana, cat, cocaine, and crack, withdrawal symptoms and cravings increased to a point where many people were not able to hide their use. This compelled families to deal with a problem they either suspected or never even knew existed.

Addiction is a family disease, meaning that the effects are felt by the whole family. Each family and every family member are uniquely affected by the individual using substances. It impacts on a family’s socio-economic status, physical health and psychological wellbeing.

If you use or are addicted to substances, your family will almost definitely be affected. This is because they will try to take care of you as much as they can and usually at the expense of their own psychological wellbeing.

How Children Living with Parents with Substance Use Disorders are Affected

Among all of the family members who are impacted by people with substance use disorders, perhaps no one suffers as much as children. The effects of living with a parent with substance use disorders can be felt long after childhood and well into adulthood. Children may develop poor self-image, loneliness, guilt, anxiety, feelings of helplessness, fear of abandonment and chronic depression. If the parent(s) is using illicit substances, they may expose their children to illegal activities and may in some cases ask them to aid in these activities by lying about what they are doing. Basically, a person who grows up in a home with one or more people with substance use disorders is often robbed of important aspects of his or her childhood.

How Spouses of People with Substance Use Disorders are Affected

The person who uses substances starts to focus on getting and maintaining the drug habit than anything else, which causes neglect in nurturing their relationships. Money that should be used for the household is diverted to substance use, activities that require both partners are left to the one who is not using, like parenting and participating in family events. The partner may also have to start covering for their partner, with family and even to their employer. A lot of people with a substance use disorder tend to want to hide their use and partners/spouses tend to assist in this due to the shame and guilt that come with substance abuse. This can create distance in the relationship and lead to lack of trust. Feelings of anger, disappointment may develop and can lead to emotional abuse, aggression or violence from either party which can result in the relationship ending.

How Parents are Affected by their Children’s Substance Use

When parents have a child who uses substances, it may cause mothers and fathers to question their parental abilities or decisions they’ve made in life. They may blame themselves for the child’s substance use or blame each other, which can cause a rift in their relationship. They may also focus all their energy on trying to “fix” their child and in the process neglect themselves, their partner and other children, if they have any. This leads to a change in the family structure and more often than not, it is negative change where there’s a family structure breakdown, the way things are done changes and it leaves parents challenged to restore it. Many parents feel a lot of guilt around this and it can affect other areas of their life like work, church, friendships, which may have been a source of much needed support.

Addiction is a family disease and needs the family to seek treatment so that as the person who is using substances gets better, the family also has an opportunity to heal as well.

If you think that you might have a substance abuse problem, or if you have a friend or family member who does, we encourage you to seek help. For some, it can mean the difference between life and death. You can find BOSASNET on Facebook, visit us on www.bosasnet.com, or call us on 3959119 or 72659891 for more information.