ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Bang-bang, Bang-bang! There was a pounding sound coming from outside the door.
My stomach twisted up inside me, my heart beat faster and my breath could be heard by my neighbors as I sighed and slowly walked to the door. Every step seemed to get heavier and heavier as I dreaded what would happen next when Thabo walked into the house. Immediately after I opened the door, he slapped me so hard on my face and, before I knew it, I’d hit hard against the sitting room sofa and landed on the cold floor. With tears rolling down my face, I let out a loud scream as I felt so much pain in my body. My two kids came running towards me crying, ‘Mama, mama!’ and they hugged me tightly.
‘ Where is my food? And why did you take so long to open for me, are you hiding a man in here?’ he shouted. He continued by hurling insults at me, ‘You are a stupid, useless woman! You are not even a good mother to those kids, and I don’t know why I married you.’
The smell of alcohol filled the house with every breath he exhaled. I held on tight to my kids as he stumbled to our bedroom. With every fiber of my being, I knew that I could not go on living like that. I made a conscious decision that tonight is the last night that I would allow this man to abuse and insult me in front of our children. I have put up with the abuse for a long time and can’t take it anymore.
It was not like this at the beginning when I met Thabo, fourteen (14) years ago at a friend’s party. We instantly liked each other and started dating. At the time, I used to drink alcohol occasionally. Thabo, on the other hand, drank every weekend but seemed to be in control of it. He was a very responsible man who had a stable job and took care of me. We moved in together and decided to get married after two years of dating. We had a beautiful relationship which was filled with so much love and we supported one another. Four years into the marriage, we were blessed with twins, bouncing and cheerful girls. I decided to quit alcohol immediately when I discovered that I was pregnant. Thabo’s drinking on the other hand appeared to be getting out of control. He got promoted at work and started spending more time out drinking with his colleagues. He would spend less time with me and the kids. Eventually the abuse started. I honestly do not know what changed him and made him so angry and spiteful of me. Every time he was drunk he would become very aggressive and had no filter in his mouth when he spoke to me. I expressed my concern to him about his drinking and the abuse, to no avail. He would show so much remorse and would promise to change for the better when he was sober. This went on and on for almost five years. Instead of him changing for the better, he seemed to be getting worse by the day.
It’s been four months since that night when I resolved to choose me and my kids’ safety, and I regret why it took me so long to decide to leave. I decided to go for counselling because I realised that I deserved better. Furthermore, I would like my children to grow up in a healthy environment where they would not be exposed to abuse and alcohol.i just never thought that alcohol could turn my once sweet man into an abuser.
BOSASNET offers counselling services to people experiencing problems with substance use issues. If you think that you might have a problem mentioned above, or if you have a friend or family member who does, we encourage you to seek help. For some, it can mean the difference between life and death. You can find BOSASNET on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok or call us on 3959119 or 72659891 for more information.