HAXTRAX - Greg Hacket

Sitting at Melbourne Airport checkin with a sore back and a bored disposition, knowing that my flight’s counter won’t open for several hours, my attention turns to the cabin crew of Sichuan Airlines. As they check in and gather their carry-on belongings, all the while laughing and joking with each other, I notice one female flight attendant has dozens of pens attached to a pouch on her little backpack. Dismissing some sort of biro fetish, I think that she obviously comes prepared for all of those passengers who forget to bring a pen to fill out their arrival forms. Which reminded me that I, for the first time in years, had forgotten to pack a pen – unforgiveable for a writer, even in the digital age. But more pertinently, it was an example of the thoughtfulness and dedication of most airline cabin crew. This is why I tend to stick with Thai Airways and Cathay Pacific - their attendants put up with so much, but still try to make everyone’s trip a good experience.

TIRED, HUNGRY & GRUMBLY

I recall with amusement and appreciation how, just a few months ago, I was on the final leg from Cambodia to Melbourne on Cathay Pacific, departing Hong Kong, when the cabin crew “pushed on” with their service despite air turbulence. My mind wanders back to that flight ... there I am, in an aisle seat (always choose aisle when flying overnight, so you can conveniently access the conveniences), at about 1:30am following an agonising departure delay on the runway, and – you guessed it – tired, hungry and grumbly, I’m unreasonably impatient for the cabin crew to serve the pre-meal drink.

I’m hanging on for a Bloody Mary – or just give me the vodka, I don’t care. Air turbulence became more intense, but the crew remain undaunted, stoically serving agitated passengers while sporting that friendly ‘Cathay Pacific smile’. The trolley reaches my seat and, as the happy hostie hands me a plastic cup of liquid sustenance, something causes an entire bottom tray to slip out of the trolley, spilling ice cubes, liquids and other bits and pieces on my leg and across the aisle floor. She apologises and kneels down to clean up, all the while bumping left, right, up and down with the air turbulence.

ANOTHER BUMP

I feel ashamed of my erstwhile impatience. A little later and dinner is being served amid still unpredictable turbulence. This time the ever-charming male crew member is handing the hot meal to me when – bang – the tray slips from his hand and chicken, chat potato, buns and stuff go flying. He apologises profusely as he gets down to clean up.

The passenger across the aisle, and I, assure him we completely understand, that it wasn’t his fault, and we appreciate the good service. After eating, I take a sleeping pill (to tame my lumbar osteoarthritis) sit back and doze off. About five hours later, the cabin crew trundle up the aisle with the breakfast trolley, reach my seat and – what do you reckon happens? – a tray of food falls to the ground. Down to clean up goes the hostie again, as her offsider races off to get a dust pan and brush.

NOT THE CARPET

Watching, I note: steamed rice is so hard to get out of carpet. What a mess. My acrossthe-aisle fellow passenger and I check the carpet, but we can’t find any kinks; the floor seems flat and level. The hostie smiles, shrugs and whispers: “It must be haunted!” We laugh. Quietly laugh, that is, because some passengers take silly things seriously, so you never know.

A few days after the flight, I saw a story about a Cathay Pacific plane missing the “F” on its newly repainted fuselage signage. Could it be at the same point where my seat was situated on my flight? Could it be the same plane? Purely a coincidence, of course. I mean, as if a passenger jet could be haunted. Hehe

[Join Greg Hackett for more of his journeys and travel tips at haxtrax.com]

AN AIRLINE CABIN CREW’S JOB HAS MANY UPS AND DOWNS WHICH THEY HANDLE WITH A SMILE, WRITES GREG HACKETT.