They heard their dead daughter’s beating heart
THE thump of a beating heart resonated for some 30 seconds, and then the tears started to flow. They were listening to a recording of the heartbeat of their daughter Carmen Mark, an 18-year-old nursing student who died in Singapore from an arterial rupture in her brain two years ago.
Then, they got to meet the Singaporean woman in whose chest their daughter’s heart was now beating.
It was a day of emotion for Carmen’s Malaysian father Mark Kok Wah, 46, and his wife, Ariess Tan, 43, full of sobs and half-smiles, at their home in George Town, Penang.
Carmen’s organs had been donated after she died, and her heart had gone to Serene Lee, 37, who had suffered heart failure. Tan, a financial consultant, broke down in tears, while Mark, a specialist construction applicator, said: “I always knew Carmen was still alive.”
Carmen’s parents gave their consent for her organs to be donated under Singapore’s Medical Act. Her heart, liver, kidneys and pancreas went to four patients.
On August 4, soon after Carmen’s second death anniversary, Lee got in touch with Mark on Facebook after seeing his posts about wanting to hear his daughter’s heartbeat again.
She introduced herself and offered to fulfil his wish.
Although the name of the donor is kept anonymous, Lee, who works part-time as a clinic assistant, had connected the dots and tracked the couple down after reading about Carmen’s death.
She recorded the heartbeat, and Carmen’s parents got to hear it ahead of Lee’s arrival.
Tan, who was deeply moved, said: “Even though my time with Carmen was not long, only about six years, she was one of the kindest and most friendly people I know.”
Tan married Mark about six years ago. Carmen’s biological mother left the family when Carmen was about 3 years old.
Tan shared how Carmen, their only child, had asked a friend to keep her company before she went to Singapore to study nursing.
“She wanted to keep me from being bored,” said Tan.
There was no boredom when they met. Five hours after hearing Carmen’s heart beat again, the couple met Lee, to whom that heart gave the gift of life, at a press conference.
Both women rushed to hug each other with loud sobs and stayed in each other’s arms for more than a minute, while Mark looked on.
He said he finds it hard to express emotion in front of a crowd, though he has been crying every night for the past two years. “But when Serene contacted me, I stopped crying for a few nights,” he said.
Later, after she had composed herself, Lee told the Straits Times: “I believe I received Carmen’s heart for a reason. If Carmen were still alive, she would serve her bond at the National Heart Centre, where I have been volunteering for the past few years, and I promise to continue doing so. In a way, I would be walking the wards that she would walk.”
She will now spend the weekend in Carmen’s room, in the home where the teenager’s ukulele and photographs still line the console tables and her pair of Toms slip-ons lies neatly outside the door.
Tan is looking forward to it. “I truly felt that Carmen had come home. I don’t think I can cook today, but over the weekend, I have already prepared a menu to cook for Serene, like pork ribs and Vietnamese spring rolls. She and Carmen have similar tastes in food.”