Common sense

Early in life, I took the maxim, “The only stupid question is the one that wasn’t asked,” and made it my own.

I was relieved to hear that there is a Danish proverb that admits, “He who is afraid to ask is ashamed of learning.” When I ask a question, I never know what kind of a response will follow. There will always be some who believe I am lacking and make use of the opportunity (me asking a question) to point out their superiority, but I am not ashamed of learning. Most people will gladly fill me in with what they know about the subject.

Often, the information I ask for is more like a missing link. I’ve heard it said that understanding any subject is simply a matter of learning the words used by people in that field. Take the word “upset” or “surprise” for example. Upset means something specific to a biker who has slipped from the saddle and something else to a person who is recovering from an argument. It’s a useful thing to find out what kind of “upset” is meant. You will find, when you ask this kind of question in a public situation, and after the workshop has ended, at least one other bewildered soul is bound to come up and tell you how grateful she or he was that you asked the question.

Then, there is that tough spot to be in: the situation where someone says, “It’s just common sense.” Perhaps the term common sense is used to mean a kind of practical intelligence. As you and I well know, however, isn’t there always more than one way to skin a cat? What is common sense to one may well be outside another’s experience.

For example, my neighbour told me about her new job. “The boss told me,” she chattered, “just to do what I do at home and it would be great!” A few weeks later I chanced to meet the boss and asked how the new employee was working out. I got an earful. As it turned out, the boss wanted things done just the way she did them at home, and it was just “common sense” not to do it the way my friend did! I don’t know what questions would have kept that disaster from happening.

Still, the role of question-poser is not for the faint of heart. Without fail, the poser will, at some point, voice a question to a group who cherish insider knowledge. As the eyes of those in-the-know dart around the room, smirking in superiority, choosing the one who will answer (usually the one with the smuggest smile), it’s easy to feel intimidated. If the glances continue to fly, the odds of hearing a really informative answer go down proportionately, and that’s disheartening.

But on the whole, the benefits outweigh the deficits, and so I keep on asking. Being in the know beats being in the dark every time. It’s only common sense!