‘I’m ready to be bankrupt’
Divorce also impacts finances in heartbreaking ways
It was supposed to be forever. A wedding in the small church in Atlantic Canada surrounded by family and friends.
It only lasted about five years. And it’s left her drowning in debt.
Even though “Samantha Knowles” has a good-paying job, she says she now avoids calls from bill collectors because it’s more than she can handle.
Her real name and identity are being kept secret to ensure her and her young children’s safety because she has allegedly received death threats from one of her exes.
“I’m ready to be bankrupt,” said Knowles in an interview. “There are so many bills outstanding that I don’t answer any phone numbers I don’t know.
“I can only put food on the table and take care of my immediate bills and my kids,” she said.
Although it’s been years already since her divorce, Knowles is still making monthly payments of hundreds of dollars to pay for her divorce lawyer. The divorce itself initially cost her and her exhusband about $4,500 each. Legal fees to regain shared custody of her children in proceedings since then have burdened her with another $7,000 of debt.
The total in legal costs for that divorce so far is about $16,000.
And then, there’s the child support. Since Knowles’ ex-husband is out of work and has shared custody of the children, she pays him almost $1,000 per month in child support.
But Knowles is not alone. In Atlantic Canada 82,000 households were headed by divorced men and women in 2016, the most recent year for which statistics are available. Most of them are still single. The total number of people living in those households is 103,000.
Many of them have gone through a process that can only be described as a financial nightmare.
When it comes to divorce, the sizeable chunk of money Knowles has already paid out is actually on the low side of what many people face in legal costs and fees. The Vancouver-based firm of Davidson Fraese Family Lawyers pegs the typical cost of a trial for divorce proceedings at Heidi Foshay Kimball in her Wolfville law office.
well over $50,000 in legal fees and court costs.
In Nova Scotia, lawyer Heidi Foshay Kimball agrees the cost of divorce can easily reach that level when the spouses go to trial.
“It would be difficult to go through all the procedural rules and a two to three-day trial for less than $30,000 (per spouse),” she said. “I typically tell my clients that it will cost more.”
Publisher and writer Zackary Richards, author of Divorce: The Middle-aged Man’s Survival Guide, loosely estimated in an interview that his living expenses went up by 50 per cent after his divorce.
“Now, I don’t have (my wife’s income) to cover the mortgage or the bills,” he said. “You used to take a vacation. Now, you can’t. You may have to wait a couple of extra years to trade your car in. You drop down to basic cable and don’t get the extra channels.”
An often messy, emotionally turbulent and expensive process that people force themselves to go through to put an end to a marriage and move on, the very spectre of divorce conjures up unpleasant images and feelings – and more than a little trepidation.
Throughout Canada, most provinces offer do-it-yourself divorce kits. Short of staying married, that’s the best way to avoid the big legal bills that come with divorce proceedings.
“If people are doing it themselves sitting around the kitchen table and putting it in legal language – which is not something I would ever recommend – then they can do it for under $500,” said Foshay Kimball.
The Family Law Nova Scotia website notes paperwork to file for divorce only costs a few hundred dollars.
“As of April 2015, it costs $218.05 to file an application for divorce by written agreement or joint application for divorce,” states the website supported by seven legal and mental health associations. “As of April 2015, it costs a total of $320.30 to file a petition for divorce. If you file a petition for divorce, and then need to file an uncontested motion for divorce, there will be an additional filing fee of $66.”
It’s even possible for those with low incomes to have those fees waived.
But there’s a snag. And that’s the very real possibility of either being hoodwinked by a manipulative spouse or simply not knowing what to demand in the settlement.
“The person who does it themselves could lose tens of thousands of dollars later on because they didn’t know what they’re doing,” said Foshay Kimball.
Family Law Nova Scotia advises everyone going through a divorce to consult with a lawyer to get advice about their rights and obligations – even when both spouses agree on all the issues.
Clearly, though, not all couples going through a divorce do so amicably. Publisher and writer Zackary Richards advises to protect yourself and your financial assets. Close any bank accounts that allow either spouse to withdraw money by themselves or change these accounts so both spouses have to sign or be present to withdraw money, said Richards.
Not so fast, says Foshay Kimball.
Even if a spouse were to try to pull a fast one and put all his or her debt onto the other spouse, it would never stand up in court. During the divorce proceedings, the debt would be redistributed evenly again, she said.
The often-touted claims made by men that women get preferential treatment in courts and men have a hard time getting custody is something she flatly dismisses.
“The courts have evolved so much in the past 25 years,” said Foshay Kimball. “When I started, the predisposition was to give women custody. That has really changed. The default position is now towards shared parenting.”
Statistics Canada’s Survey of Financial Security suggests households led by divorced women in 2016 were much more likely to include children than those by divorced men. And those divorced woman-led households also had a significantly higher average income at $34,900 compared to the comparable average income of $27,100 for those led by divorced men. The households led by divorced women in Atlantic Canada in 2016 also had higher average private pension assets than those led by men.
The good news for those in the middle of divorce proceedings is that it does get better, said Foshay Kimball.
“There is a light at the end of the tunnel.”
“There is a light at the end of the tunnel.”
- Heidi Foshay Kimball