TAKING THE SEX OUT OF SEXTING
Smartphones stifling our human connections
A recent study has demonstrated that smartphones are ruining romance, which will come as a blow to those of us who still think devil-horned emoticons are a bit racy.
It seems couples are so in love with technology that they are texting rather than talking, browsing rather than arousing and are far too preoccupied with finding the 4G spot to give much attention to the analog real thing.
According to the survey, 40 per cent of us have put off having sex in order to send a quick text, surf the Internet or check our Facebook page.
Cast your mind back a full five years ago to the good old days. Back then, a girl would get all dressed up in heels and a bodycon dress for dinner with her suitor. Once the gin and tonic kicked in, said girl would coyly whisper that she needed to go to the ladies room.
This, of course, was a lie. Firstly, because she just spent the previous two and a half hours in the bathroom getting ready. Secondly, because “I’ll be back in a minute” is established code for “I am going to walk away very slowly and sexily so you can admire me from behind.
“And then in a few moments, I am going to walk toward you very slowly and sexily, so you can admire me from the front as well. And I’m doing this now before I eat that warm bread roll the waiter just served with tongs because my tummy swells when I eat wheat.”
Job done. But the old ways no longer work in high-tech 2015.
A man no longer automatically gazes in wonder and carnal interest at his lover’s hip-swaying sashay. No, he’s got something much more interesting to play with. Thus the split second his girlfriend stands up, he immediately looks at his phone. And when she returns, he’s still looking. In fact, he might not even notice she’s sat opposite again for several moments.
So she’s in a mood. He has no idea why. Conversation dries up. Huffily, she answers a text. He takes advantage of what he takes to be a companionable silence and looks up the NHL standings. She is enraged. He is bewildered, and retreats to the modern version of his man-cave and, while the main course is taken away, buys a new drill bit on his Amazon app. She Instagrams her best friends to tell them it’s all over. His mobile runs out of battery, so he wants to talk. Hers hasn’t, so she doesn’t.
It’s a comedy of 404 errors, but it’s not that funny. Before you know it, they’ve stomped off home and retreated to opposite sides of the bed. He is light years away on his Samsung Galaxy. She’s burning with indignation on her Kindle Fire, and the window for intimacy has well and truly timed out.
Social networking has transformed our world. It empowers the many, helps us stay informed and connected. We can Facetime and Snapchat those who are far away — but sometimes at the expense of those who are nearest and dearest.
Technology’s blessings multiply with each new application, but the curses cannot be overlooked.
The online world is addictive with its infinite possibility, endless entertainment. Yet for all the instant messaging and Twitter followers, there’s a dehumanizing dimension, too. Our dealings with one another are becoming remote, measured, at arm’s length. We must beware of losing more than we gain.
We must remember that however smart a phone, it has no emotional intelligence. And, in hereand-now reality, a winking emoji comes a poor second to a tender good-night kiss, or a lustful look across a crowded restaurant.
We can Facetime and Snapchat those who are far away — but sometimes at the expense of those who are nearest and dearest.