Mothers who lost sons to violence launch support group

After Karen Venables’ 18- year- old son was killed, she was lost.

Devin died from a punch to the head after walking away from an altercation at a bar in November 2002.

When Christmas came, Venables didn’t know whether to put up the tree. She didn’t know whether to attend a family wedding. She became paralyzed with fear when her younger son turned 18, old enough to hit the pubs. And she had nobody to turn to “When you lose a loved one ... the grief and sadness can be overwhelming. But when that loss has the words murder or homicide attached to it, another level is added to that grief you were already experiencing,” Venables said.

She didn’t want others to suffer the way she did. So she and her friend Debbie Hogarth made plans to establish a support network.

That dream became a reality Wednesday with the launch of the Calgary Homicide Support Society, thanks to a $ 76,000- grant from Alberta Justice and the Solicitor General’s Victims of Crime Fund.

Starting in late June, the society will hold monthly meetings where family members 18 or older can share their experiences. A forensic psychologist will facilitate the group.

It’s free to join and people can register through the society’s website ( www.calgaryhss.ca).

“Because of these two women ... families whose lives have been devastated by homicide can turn to people who have been there, people who truly understand the impact,” said police Chief Paul Cook.

Previously, families were turning to Google, even cold- calling people in the United States and the United Kingdom for advice on how to cope, said Sgt. Brent Hutt with the Calgary Police Service.

Hogarth said she was spurred to action after her son Joshua Hogarth, 18, was fatally stabbed in August 2012. She sought help through other agencies, but “nobody got it.”

“It’s always a tragedy to lose a child. But when you lose a child to murder, it’s just different,” she said.

Then on a Sunday last year, she arranged to meet Venables.

“No words were even spoken. We just looked at each other and hugged. And I knew she got it,” Hogarth said.