THE HUNT: ATTACK OF THE 50- FOOT ZUCCHINI:
They seem like a good idea when you start puttering around outdoors in the spring. But when zucchini grow to outsize dimensions, they can be a challenge.
They seem like a good idea when you start puttering around outdoors in the spring. But when zucchini grow to outsize dimensions, they can be a challenge.
as botanical gangs go, Cucurbita pepo is one hell of a dynasty. The genus, which includes all squashes, originated in southern Mexico, where, along with maize and beans, it became foundational to the Mesoamerican diet. It was Italian farmers, however, whoin the 19th century developed the kind we now call zucchini, plus its many aliases: summer squash, vegetable marrow, or, for those wishing to be classy like Nigella, the loaned French name, courgette.
But this is the season in which zucchini is much more suitable to military metaphors. Gardeners first spot them as small missiles, but when they turn away for an instant, it’s suddenly a full- fledged Zeppelin attack. And although zucchini doesn’t self- propagate around the yard, it does qualify as an invasive species inasmuch as you might come home and find three or four sitting on the porch, gifts from a friendly if anonymous neighbour.
Don’t let either its size or profusion instill fear: zucchini is one of the most versatile foods we have. But unless you commit to a plan involving creativity, multiple culinary techniques and a stout measure of patience, you risk poisoning yourself against this hyper- fertile fruit. I’m looking at you, sickly college- era ratatouille, so under-seasoned and overcooked.
No, the key to actually using and enjoying every scrap of zucchini is to somehow disguise it. Thus, despite committing the foodie sin of advocating a kitchen tool that only does one thing, I’m giving my highest recommendation to a gadget called the Veggetti, which is one of those As- Seen- on- TV! products that you never actually saw on TV. By grinding the squash through this cone- shaped device ( available at Bed, Bath and Beyond), you create long, linguine- shaped strands of faux pasta. I know, it’s a stretch. But I’ve heard enough of my slenderizing female friends ( is there any other kind?) claim that they can barely tell the difference when it’s sautéed and sauced in the Italian style. Another device of great benefit to zucchini alchemy, particularly the small ones, is the mandoline. Sliced ultra- thin, a combination of green- and yellow- skinned ribbons make a showy component in a marinated salad, or even laid out as a base layer on pizza. Thicker slices grill up quickly and will add texture to a submarine sandwich, while charred halves of small squash are delightful when chunked out and tossed in a salad of blanched broccoli, tomatoes and ginger- garlic- sesame- oil vinaigrette.
Especially as the fruits get bigger, your food processor is the next weapon in your arsenal. Shredded zucchini has a multitude of uses, most of which come with the side benefit of not resembling zucchini at all. Pancakes are the classic treatment. Throw your shredded material onto a clean towel, wring for all you’re worth, then combine with flour, eggs and onion salt before shallow- frying. Small cakes topped with dill and crème fraîche make a somewhat guilt- free cocktail canapé of which your guests will want more than you actually made.
Once zucchini become the size of fat housecats, options narrow but do not disappear. Sure, you can do the hippie stuffed- squash thing ( curse you, Moosewood Cookbook), but shredding and freezing are your best bet. First, remove the now- tough skin with a sharp peeler. Then cut in half and scoop out the seeds, which you’ll reserve. Chunk up the flesh and run it through your shredder. Not only does it not require blanching, but pre- measured plastic bags will see it last up to a year in the freezer, to become a welcome focal point of mid-winter muffins and cakes.
As for the seeds, why, those are what Latinos and hipsters call pepitas. Clean, allow to dry on a baking sheet, and then roast if you’re looking for an unmodified seed to use in cereals. Me, I put them in a bath of lime juice, salt and chili powder, then toast into a great bar snack. Not that you need to be drunk in order to fall in love with zucchini.