Racist attitudes hurting family
Q At 70, I’m four years into a wonderful relationship with a widower who’s 72. He’s of a different race and religion. His large family and many friends have unconditionally accepted me. My side, except for one son, has accepted him. I can’t believe my son has turned racist. This isn’t how I raised him. He himself married a bi- racial girl whom I love as dearly as my daughter. They have three children, and he’s turned them against my partner, as well. He refuses to attend our family gatherings if my partner is present. I now get to see very little of my grandchildren. My partner would like me to take a tougher stand, refusing to see them unless they’re willing to interact with all of us. What’s the best way to handle this?
Divided by Racism
A Confront your son. Ask him directly what he has against your partner. If there are other reasons than race and religion, discuss them.
If it’s solely prejudice against your partner’s particular race and religion, tell him you’re surprised and deeply disappointed in him.
Regarding your relationship with your grandchildren, I don’t agree with your partner.
Try to maintain contact with them, even if you meet them alone.
With young people, there’s still hope they’ll see past his bigotry. Q I’m 26, and have never been in a relationship. I have a difficult time attracting men. I’m so desperate for male attention that I’ve considered using Craigslist to find an escort. I know I’m not gorgeous and I’m taller than average. Could that be why I’m always ignored?
What To Do?
A Self- confidence is attractive. Your negative self- image is holding you back.
See a counsellor. You need professional help.
A therapist can help you.
Q I’m a teenager who, two years ago, felt puppy love. He cheated on me with my best friend, and it still haunts me. Now, I no longer can hold affection for longer than a month. It frightens me knowing I’ll soon get over every guy I begin to admire. I’ve morphed from an innocent, well- rounded adolescent to a bold, straightforward teenage girl. I’d like to fix myself now before I grow into a knot that can no longer be untied.
Un- Romantic Teen A You don’t need “fixing.” Bold and straightforward are good traits. So is not going gaga over every guy. You sound fairly sensible.
One bad experience hit you hard. But you’re older and smarter now. Date less. Be more selective. You’ll find good guys when you stop expecting the worst.