We got flapjacks, sunny smiles, kind words — but not a red cent

Albertans too polite to ask Trudeau to show us the money during recession

It’s good to know the rest of Canada is gung-ho about supporting us here in Wild Rose Country.

Certainly that was the message from our prime minister, who gave such glad tidings while taking a break from flipping pancakes at the Wettest Outdoor Show on Earth last week.

“We know things haven’t been easy here in Alberta, and after years and years of Alberta doing great and supporting the rest of the country, it’s time for the rest of the country to be supporting Alberta,” our first minister told the hungry hordes. “But I’ll tell you the truth. I know Calgarians, I know Albertans. You don’t need a lot of support. You guys are doing great, you’re picking yourselves up again after a slump,” Justin Trudeau went on, admiring the tremendous dynamism and positivity he’s again seeing in our province.

Well, just like blue skies over the rodeo grounds, that sunny outlook didn’t last.

Days later, along come those wet blanket TD economists to wrestle that particular bum steer to the hardened ground.

According to them, by year’s end Alberta’s GDP will contract three per cent.

That’s a 6.5 per cent loss since 2014 — double the past four provincial recessions’ average.

Thankfully the rest of Canada will do some group hugging and economic hand-holding. No doubt all those years Alberta supported the rest of Canada by sending more money eastward than ever came back west would be reversed. Justin said it was time, after all. So what about those darned equalization payments that make up a nice chunk of federal transfers to the provinces?

Surely we’d be getting a bit back, courtesy of our good neighbours?

Yeah, sure. About as likely as seeing a new pipeline laid across this fair but divided land.

Ottawa’s numbers for the financial year 2016-17 show who’s getting what: Nova Scotia and New Brunswick about $1.7 billion, Ontario $2.3 billion and Quebec over $10 billion.

I’d ask for a drum roll but it would be wasted. Unless you’ve just got off a bus from Chicoutimi, you already know what we’ll get — zero, zip and zilch. Take your pick.

So much for the rest of the country’s support in our years of need.

Of course, when calculating this stuff, natural resource revenue is thrown into the mix of provincial GDP so, despite the worst recession in living memory, we’re still judged highest on the hog in dividing federal spoils.

Our provincial government shrugs.

‘Hey, that’s the way it is,’ says the treasurer.

Oh yes? Imagine if Quebec was subsidizing Alberta due to its hydro revenue — go figure, but water, unlike oil, isn’t counted in natural resource revenue — as tens of thousands of la belle province workers lose their jobs?

‘C’est la vie’ wouldn’t be muttered and we couldn’t be fobbed off with some paltry $250 million from a stabilization fund.

That’s not criticism. No, it’s a compliment. I wish we’d import some of their politicians to Alberta. They wouldn’t be content with a flapjack, a sunny smile and a stroke of the provincial ego. They’d be asking hard questions about why their people are losing out on largesse during an awful, long-running recession.

But we’re too polite. Provincially we’ll bring in a carbon tax because Justin and Barack might give us a shout out. Meanwhile our local lad at the cabinet table, Kent Hehr, was so gung-ho having the actual prime minister at his Stampede breakfast, he couldn’t help but gush.

Pointing to lines snaking down the street as a sign his government is on the right track, he declared: “I really feel like we’re gaining traction here, the prime minister’s message is resonating and I have every confidence Albertans are knowing we are working hard with them in mind.”

No doubt, in the Dirty ’30s, the lines snaked round the block as well. Back then it led to a soup kitchen.