THE ART OF THE DEAL
Tips on how to buy a car
The next time I buy a new car, I’m taking Fotini Iconomopoulos with me. I’m not going to say a word — I’m just going to watch a pro handle a negotiation.
Iconomopoulos is a chair for the Network of Executive Women, and her mouthful of an official title — negotiation, communication and commercial strategy specialist — hints at the large corporate stages she works on. Taking her to an automotive showroom might be like taking a howitzer to a pub league darts night, but her tips for buying a car are gold.
Our conversation was initially about the very real differences between how women and men negotiate — or fail to. If you’re a woman and dread buying a car because the process feels adversarial, you aren’t alone. But what if you could deal from a place of confidence, of strength? What if you could learn a few tips to balance the power scale? Buying a car isn’t just about securing the best price— it’s about making sure you’re buying the right car for your needs.
Iconomopoulos points out all the subtle — and not so subtle — ways a negotiation is controlled, and who does that controlling. It’s imperative that, as a buyer, you establish the groundwork not just for what you may eventually buy, but how you will be treated in that transaction.
“You send a signal from the opening handshake,” she says, explaining that in this moment, you are messaging that you will be in a position of control. You can form the groundwork, letting them know this is the first appointment of the day for you, and you have a limited amount of time.
“You anchor this position from the beginning.”
As a woman, if you’ve gone into a car dealership with a man, whether it’s your husband, your father, your friend or even your son, you may have experienced a sales representative gravitating toward that man with his or her explanations, even if you asked the questions, even if you’re the one writing the cheque, even if you’re the one who will drive the car. The industry has worked in recent years to rebalance this, but the fact remains that too many still believe men have a magic chromosome that allows them to understand complicated things better.
“Be prepared,” Iconomopoulos says. “Men are more confident; that’s testosterone at work. Women experience more stress, which is cortisol. You can physically prepare yourself with what I call power poses. They will ramp up your testosterone, regardless of gender, and help ditch the stress.”
Literally taking up more space is a non-verbal tell that you are in control. Wear something that makes you feel confident. Stand up straight.
Language, of course, is a huge part of a negotiation. Iconomopoulos suggests ditching the soft language that will present you as “movable.”
“Don’t use words like probably, maybe, around,” she says. Instead, be concise, and look for hints of that soft language from the other side of the desk.
“If you don’t hear ‘the price is X,’” Iconomopoulos says, then you have a negotiation beginning. “They’ve just signalled they have room to move. Listen for it.”
I asked her to name the No. 1 thing women do wrong.
“They talk too much,” Iconomopoulos says with a laugh. “Shut up. Silence is far more effective.”
She admits women are socialized into much of that behaviour, using more words to justify a question, to overcompensate for, well, everything. She also says younger women are often less jaded and more willing to step up — a clue that perhaps we are changing how we raise our girls.
I asked Iconomopoulos how to get around the problem of a sales rep addressing the wingman instead of the buyer. I shouldn’t have to leave a trusted friend or family member behind simply because they’re male.
“Go in with a game plan,” she suggests. “You initiate the introduction, you start the conversation and your companion should simply say, ‘Lorraine is the decision-maker.’
“Own your presence and pick up on subtleties. If this isn’t going the way you want it to, be polite and concise and simply say thank you for your time, but we won’t be reaching an agreement today.”
Physically prepare yourself with what I call power poses. They will ramp up your testosterone, regardless of gender.