PREPARING FOR A NEW LIFE
Book offers tips for new students
Heading into first-year university is an exciting and important step for high school graduates. But a smooth transition is not guaranteed.
Nora Bradbury-Haehl, coauthor of The Freshmen Survival Guide, says she’s seen students struggle with the transition, especially those who leave home to study. The guide, also co-authored by Bill McGarvey, helps new students ease in and become better prepared for campus life by covering social, financial, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of college life.
This revised second edition boasts a generous amount of fresh material, as well.
“One big shift was really expanding the section on living in the digital world,” says Bradbury-Haehl. “It’s so fantastic, what we’re able to do now.”
Bradbury-Haehl has worked with youth in educational settings in upstate New York for 25 years and sees that a good portion of building and maintaining relationships now happens online. While there are still cautions about online relationships, she says it’s good to be aware that sometimes when students are on the phone, they may be supporting a friend who could be having an anxiety attack or whose parents might be splitting up.
“It’s one more tool for friendships, for giving and getting support,” she says.
“Online is great and in-person can be even better. They’re not opposite.”
Another update covers how the issue of consent is beginning to be handled on college campuses. While there’s still a long way to go, Bradbury-Haehl says the perspective of colleges has shifted when it comes to ideas about dating, sexual assault and safety. Though some things have not changed that much, she adds.
“‘Guys give love to get sex and girls give sex to get love.’ It’s a huge oversimplification, and either party can play either role, but it’s something to keep in mind.”
Sex isn’t a universal language, she adds, so “Taking it to the next level” can mean different things to different people.
It’s good to remember there really aren’t that many sexual predators out there, she says.
“It seems like it, when you look at the rates of sexual assault, but it really is just a few people, usually guys, on each campus. So when somebody tells you about a guy’s reputation, believe them.”
It’s easy to lose your bearings as a freshman, and it’s normal to feel a bit lost.
“Everybody at some point during their first semester breaks down in tears out of homesickness, even people who hated being home.”
Mourning the loss of what was familiar and getting used to something new is a tricky business, she says. It’s very important to know when to reach out for help.
“If you are really sinking or you’re drinking way more than you ever did before and you’re starting to miss class, it’s better to get help sooner than later,” says BradburyHaehl.
You can save yourself, your family and your bank account a lot of heartache if you take action once you realize you’re in trouble.