Getting down with the biggest movie duds

The reviews for The Emoji Movie are in, and the consensus is clear: it’s a turd.

Not an adorable, smiling poop voiced by Sir Patrick Stewart, either.

Just a plain ol’ stinky pile of dung. Boy, nobody saw THAT coming.

As of this writing, The Emoji Movie holds a rare zero per cent rating on movie-review aggregate site Rotten Tomatoes, meaning not one single critic has liked it.

Nailing that goose egg takes some effort.

Most really bad movies will garner at least one favourable review. It’s almost impressive. Almost.

Here’s a look at other films that have captured that elusive zero per cent Tomatometer score, all of which are available for renting or streaming online.

JOE DIRT 2: BEAUTIFUL LOSER (2015)

Sometimes a merely bad movie will produce a truly horrific sequel. Who asked for more David Spade in a mullet? No really, who? Identify yourself and report for punishment. Sample critic quote: “Precisely as good as it sounds.” Find it on: Crackle, iTunes, Google Play, Microsoft Store, PlayStation Store

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S GOLD DIGGERS (2003)

National Lampoon has had way more misses than hits, but this alleged comedy about two young guys marrying rich older women is a full-on bomb. The kind with radiation that makes people die a lingering, painful death. Sample critic quote: “Imagine a horrible parallel universe, where Pauly Shore is allowed to direct a remake of Harold and Maude.” Find it on: Microsoft Store Eddie Murphy’s comedic star has waned considerably in the last decade, but at least he still does funny voices. Except in this movie, where he barely speaks. Brilliant plan. Sample critic quote: “The poster art for A Thousand Words shows Eddie Murphy with duct tape over his mouth, which as a promotional idea ranks right up there with Fred Astaire in leg irons.” Find it on: Google Play, Cineplex Store, Microsoft Store, PlayStation Store

THE RIDICULOUS 6 (2015)

This Western “comedy” was the first film from Adam Sandler’s four-film exclusive production deal with Netflix. Yeah, that’s been some money well spent. Sample critic quote: “The Ridiculous 6 is everything wrong with Hollywood for the past two decades.” Find it on: Netflix The fourth movie in the Jaws series is so bad, it killed the franchise deader than a careless swimmer on Amity Island. Sample critic quote: “Makes Jaws: 3D look like a bloody masterpiece.” Find it on: Netflix, iTunes, Google Play, Cineplex Store, Microsoft Store, PlayStation Store

RETURN TO THE BLUE LAGOON (1991)

Before she grew up and started making bad apocalypse flicks, Milla Jovovich starred in this spinoff of sorts to the movie that made Brooke Shields famous. Sample critic quote: “Like a sex education film made by semi-liberated nuns, the movie keeps its sticky truths hidden beneath a veneer of leering cleanliness.” Find it on: iTunes, Google Play, Microsoft Store, PlayStation Store