Redefining age
A positive outlook can conquer fears and break stereotypes as we get older
Age is just a number, and Dr. Frieda Birnbaum certainly isn’t counting. She had twins at the age of 60. At 65 she reinvented herself and launched a career as a media psychologist. At 70 she’s about to release her third book, Shattering the Mold, about stepping outside of the box, and is planning a reality TV show with her 10-year-old twins.
Birnbaum defies the norm and is on a mission to redefine age. Old stereotypes — and stereotypes about the old — need to go.
“Middle age no longer represents us; middle age sounds like you are going downhill,” she says. “I call it peak age.”
Birnbaum is anti anti-aging, a pro-aging champion in a crazy anti-aging fixated society.
“Life began for me at 60 as very exciting. I wanted to do more than ever.”
That’s an understatement. It was international news when Birnbaum gave birth to Josh and Jarrett. She had travelled to a clinic in South Africa for invitro, where age wasn’t an issue for doctors.
Ten years later, “I am running after my twins, cleaning my house, on international radio and TV shows. I am interviewing women for my sizzle reel to pitch to producers for a TV show on powerful women. I am excited for what lies ahead.
“Am I super woman? No. Just doing what I want to do.”
Her message for other women: Life is long enough to get everything in. Passion is the fountain of youth.
“More and more women are coming out of the closet to speak about age — it’s our last frontier,” says Birnbaum, mother of five, including one she had at 53. Birnbaum and her husband Ken first became parents 44 years ago. “Today, women are tiptoeing into having children in their 50s, not always telling the truth about their age.”
Is 60 the new 40?
“Ten years ago, 60 was looked on as old. Look around you and you will see women in their 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond living vibrantly. Age is not defined by numbers. You define the age!” says Birnbaum, of drfrieda.com and author of Life Begins at 60: A New View on Motherhood, Marriage, and Reinventing Ourselves.
Instead of retiring, women are reinventing themselves.
“Grandma is no longer sitting in a rocking chair; she is exercising and travelling,” says Birnbaum. “Life is a dress rehearsal and you can have a second chance.”
Dr. Andrea Brandt recommends mindful aging: You don’t deny the negatives of growing older, but you don’t ruminate or blow them out of proportion, either.
“Instead, you turn your attention to the benefits of aging — and there are many,” Brandt says. “We shortchange ourselves when we put limitations on what we think we can accomplish as older people.”
Stereotypes are incredibly damaging to people as they age, says Brandt, a psychotherapist at agewithpurpose.com.
She sees a lot of older women fall into the trap of spending their time and energy trying to undo aging.
“You could spend the rest of your life and all your resources trying to look younger, or you could enjoy the benefits of growing older,” she says.
Mark Twain once said “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
A Yale University study shows that thinking positively about aging can buy us an extra 7.5 years over individuals with negative biases.
Joy and passion have no expiry date.
“Make decisions based on what would bring you joy and remove ‘I’m too old’ from your vocabulary,” adds Brandt.