The year of reprofiling is upon us, Albertans

Anyone who found a snare drum snuggled under the tree this past Christmas can try that drum roll thing on it now, as the most-anticipated moment of 2018 is upon us — unveiling the word that’ll define Alberta politics for this year we’re reluctantly sailing into like a gaggle of landlubbers, press-ganged into a life on those ocean waves.

Actually, it isn’t really a word at all, though with enough use and not near enough ridicule, it will have morphed into one by the time those 2018 calendars hit the correct colour-coordinated garbage bin in our fair city.

Folks, I give you reprofiling, an ungodly linguistic abomination that’s already peeked its nasty, pointed head above the barricades of good taste and found room to manoeuvre.

Yes, the provincial government in this year ahead will be reprofiling more often than a love-starved optimist updating their Tinder account, as they try to show progress in reducing the enormous amount of money we’re borrowing to keep the lights on these days.

There’s neither a philosophical, nor economic drive to such a change in direction from Premier Rachel Notley’s crew, but the simple necessity of politics and its bedfellow of getting re-elected, as that future voting date drifts worryingly into view.

So, given the NDP are now endlessly broadcasting the merits of a rebounding economy (with the unemployment rate still hovering above seven per cent, that takes nerve) they can’t simultaneously keep borrowing more than $10 billion a year without looking like complete financial dullards, incapable of counting past 10, even with their socks off. Therefore, enter stage left, reprofiling. This is one of those dreadful “almost words,” such as downsizing. (Imagine being the first poor sap told he was being downsized and wondering if that meant the boss was going to lop off his legs.)

What reprofiling really means is abandoning, delaying, stopping, cutting, chopping or changing — take your pick of more straightforward verbiage.

But, like telling someone they’re being fired, such words are simple and clear; they do not hide behind a temporary veneer by appearing polite, routine and therefore entirely painless.

Just like downsizing, the real intention of delivering gobbledygook such as reprofiling is to make painful decisions appear palatable at first blush, and by the time the poor folks affected figure out what’s actually happened, you’re off on a lunch break or happily home for the holidays.

So what’s going to be reprofiled here in Alberta in the months to come? Schools, roads, health facilities — in fact, anything that comes under the capital project banner. The government started this sleight of hand a while back, and it’ll gather speed this year. Don’t believe me? This is what our finance minister mentioned in his second-quarter fiscal update: “The capital plan is now forecast at $8.3 billion, a decrease of $883 million from budget, due primarily to reprofiling of school, municipal and transportation projects to future years.”

Now it seems churlish to complain about the government actually reducing expenditures, given the stick they receive for borrowing so much that the provincial flag should by now be coloured deep red.

Yet we haven’t actually reduced the deficit below $10 billion, despite pushing back building those promised schools, roads and housing projects.

Just imagine how much we’d be borrowing in the 2017-2018 accounts if we’d started work on stuff announced last spring. Over $11 billion would be a reasonable answer — a higher number than the financial year before, despite this constant blather about things improving across Alberta.

That would not fit the storyline, not with an election due in less than 18 months and a new opposition leader ready to assail the Dippers about profligate spending at every opportunity. So there isn’t a snowball’s chance that many of those projects won’t be reprofiled once again, maybe reaching the land that time forgot when the dust settles.

Hey, maybe next year, we’ll be rolling out that snare drum again to accompany another nearword from the governmental handy-dandy thesaurus.

Yes, let’s hear it for reprofiling.