Cannes you believe it?
The Cannes film marketplace lies in the basement of the Palais des Festivals — literally beneath the feet of the stars walking the red carpet. But it’s also where the majority of the business happens, as filmmakers and distributors jostle to get themselves noticed by buyers. Here are a few of the more unusual film offerings this year:
THE LIMIT OF
I’m OK not knowing the end of the movie, but at least tell me the end of the title!
TRUNK
This poster asks an interesting question: What would you do if you woke up in the trunk of a car all tied up? But then why is it showing us a pickup truck?
MISTRUST
Hard to argue with the tagline on this one. (“Mistress is not a four-letter word...”) Mistress has eight letters. Love has four. (Math!)
WHAT IS YOUR PERFECT WAY TO EAT FRIED EGGS?
Um, if they’re already fried, how many ways CAN I eat them?
WE LOVE YOU, SALLY CARMICHAEL
And give my best to Wong Foo and Julie Newmar!
EAST OF SWEDEN
... or as the cartographers refer to it, “Finland.”
BRAVE RABBIT AND THE CRAZY TIME MACHINE
Here’s hoping M.C. Escher got a screenwriting credit on this one.
GIRLS UND PANZER DAS FINALE
These girls seems a little too happy in their work. Also, shouldn’t they be INSIDE the tank?
HALLOWAIIAN
A real tongue-twister, and clearly looking to capitalize on the Hotel Transylvania crowd. Also note that every animated film these days needs a trio of adorable sidekicks ...
SUPER FURBALL
... unless the adorable sidekick is already the star.
HOME IS WHERE YOUR HART IS
Unless this movie stars Kevin Hart or an adult male deer, something is wrong with that title.
LEO DA VINCI: MISSION MONA LISA
“Leo” was at least 50 when he painted “Mona.” Just sayin’.
TOYS AND PETS
Sometimes, Gary Wang goes for the scattershot effect in his animated movies ...
CATS
... and sometimes he aims for the niche market.
MY DAD IS A HEEL WRESTLER
I prefer the second version: “My daddy is a heel wrestler!?” I feel it better captures my confusion about the film.
ROOM LAUNDERING
So many questions. Let’s start with: Why the stuffed goose?
STAR RAIDERS
The 1980s called and would like you to know they already made all the Star Wars knockoffs the world will ever need.
WHEN I GET HOME, MY WIFE ALWAYS PRETENDS TO BE DEAD. WHY!?
Hey, if you have to ask ...
A DYSFUNCTIONAL CAT
Pretty sure this could just as easily be called “A Cat.”