EX-STAMP’S ULTIMATE PASS WAS TO HIS BEST BUDDY
In seven years of pro football Andre Arlain never got a chance to be the hero.
Oh sure, he made a few clutch catches, was part of plenty of wins and even won a Grey Cup with the Calgary Stampeders in 1998.
However, it wasn’t until 14 years after his retirement from the game, the 42-year-old Hamilton native achieved a hero status thrown around far too cavalierly in sports.
Not only did he save someone’s life, he saved his best friend by donating his kidney.
“He’s the first hero I’ve ever met,” said Mike Ferrante, 42, the recipient of Arlain’s kidney and his closest friend since high school.
“When he made the CFL, we thought that was impressive but what he did for me is heroic. That’s the tag I’d put on him. To my kids, he’s Superman. He’s got a VIP pass whenever he comes here, even though he doesn’t want it.”
Ferrante was diagnosed 13 years ago with a rare genetic disorder called Fabry disease that essentially attacks organs. Arlain was aware his pal’s kidneys were starting to deteriorate the last few years but Ferrante kept a brave face.
It wasn’t until Arlain and his two young kids made their regular visit back home in Hamilton two summers ago it was clear Ferrante wasn’t doing well.
“His wife would talk about it every once in awhile but he never did,” said Arlain, whose friend’s colouring was off, and he lacked energy.
“He was just different. Then last summer I was home and his wife (Marianne) said, ‘this isn’t great and he will need a kidney at some point.’ ”
At that point, Ferrante was off work from the Ford plant in Oakville, requiring dialysis 10 hours at night.
His close-knit group of pals, including Arlain, had started getting tested to see if they were a possible match to donate. Marianne and her mother also got tested, but weren’t compatible.
“His quality of life was heartbreaking to me,” said Arlain, whose testing was done in Calgary where he has long worked in the oilpatch following a career that included a stop in Winnipeg.
“You have two young kids and you don’t really know what’s going on. He felt like crap every day. He’s not working. He’d sleep two or three times a day. How does this get any better? He couldn’t go to the bathroom. He didn’t go for months.”
It got to the point Marianne sent a text to Arlain informing him dialysis was no longer working, setting in motion another set of medical procedures that included transfusions.
“I asked her, ‘what happens if this doesn’t work?’ ” said Arlain. “She didn’t have an answer.” They all knew.
“It was emotional,” said Marianne.
“Andre said to me, ‘I had no idea it was this bad.’
He said, ‘this is unacceptable.’ ” Arlain and his group of closeknit friends didn’t tell Ferrante they were being tested as the chances were remote they’d be a match and they didn’t want to give him false hope.
As things were really starting to get scary for Ferrante last October, Arlain received a call from a nurse informing him he was a match and that surgery could be scheduled for the following week.
Shocked and overwhelmed, Arlain proceeded to inform his two young children and his employer, who were all receptive to him taking the time necessary to make his noble gesture. Well, almost everyone.
“My daughter Julia (10) was pretty cute about it — she said, ‘no, dad, I don’t want you to have surgery. Can’t someone else just give him a kidney?’ ”
The phone call the Ferrantes received informing them of the match was understandably emotional.
“We both burst into tears,” said Marianne, who got the call as they were driving home from the hospital
“It was a total shock. They don’t tell you a lot on our end for privacy reasons, so when we heard it was Andre, we called him from the car right away.
“He said ‘no thanks necessary. Don’t even give it a second thought.’ ”
Even though the phone call stood to save his life, Ferrante said he was mixed on hearing Andre was going to be the donor.
“It was kind of hard to hear. I was almost trying to talk everyone out of it, as bad as that sounds,” said Ferrante.
“I’m like ‘you have kids and you need it’ and they are like, ‘no, you’d do it for us.’
“To try to give him a compliment is trying to pull teeth.
I said, ‘you are the most chill person in the world. I hope I get some of the that.’ ”
Two weeks later Ferrante’s life was saved.
“Kidney out, kidney in,” shrugged Arlain of the Dec. 6 surgery, during which a doctor took a photo of his kidney for him.
“It’s really cool because it’s like putting batteries into a clock, the minute you put it in it works. He immediately started peeing through the catheter.”
When both buddies came to, their first question was, “how’s he doing ?”
It’s a question Ferrante still texts Arlain to ask every couple days.
“Probably a million times,” laughed Arlain.
“He always wants to know if I’m OK and that my life went back to normal.”
It did. There was a month of excruciating pain Arlain didn’t expect, but the 6-foot-2, 215-pound fitness freak is back to being his chiselled self.
“What’s changed for me? I’ve got a C-section scar,” shrugged Arlain, indeed Mr. Chill.
“My modelling career is over. Whatever.”
“Some people have said to me, ‘I don’t think I could have done this. I didn’t know if I could have either until it was presented to me.
“In my mind, it wasn’t a big deal because I needed to know. If I could help a buddy live a better life and the risk to me was minimal. What’s changed? Nothing.
“But I really wouldn’t have been OK with showing up at his funeral and carrying a casket and knowing I could have done something. Don’t you just need to know?”
All parties involved are hopeful stories like this draw more attention to the need for people to go online and fill out organ donation cards.
“This was an easy decision because there wasn’t a decision, it was simply, find out if you can help,” said Arlain.
“It’s cool to me because my buddy gets to live a life with his wife and kids. That’s awesome because as parents, all we ever want is to be the best parents.
“My buddy had an issue and he hated his life. I can only imagine what was going through his head at night with two young kids and your wife is lying beside you and you’re hooked up to this machine and you’re wondering if this is the rest of his life?”
Now there’s no more wondering, just living, and appreciating the second chance his best friend gave him.
“As Mike said, even though he’s been in another part of the country for 20 years, it’s like a piece of Andre is always home,” said Marianne, whose kids are six and eight-years old.
“There’s no question Mike would have died. He was being kept alive but he wasn’t living. What a gift, for all of us.”
Ferrante admitted exactly one year ago he recalls starting to come to terms with dying, until Arlain intervened.
“One buddy joked, ‘there’s a reason why we all stuck together,’ ” chuckled Ferrante.
“I had the easy part. He’s the hero.”