CONNECTION PROBLEMS

Though support groups abound, it can be profoundly isolating to go through breast cancer treatment. It’s difficult for loved ones, especially males, to understand what a woman is feeling, and romantic relationships can be strained by the shift from a partnership between equals to a caregiver/charge dynamic. The emotional impact of this experience is often coupled with a physical one: A 2010 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 70 percent of partnered breast cancer survivors experienced sexual problems after treatment. “Some women report that they lose sexual interest. There might be vaginal dryness because chemo has put them in early menopause or they’re taking other drugs that decrease hormone levels. Sex can become extremely painful, which often leads to avoidance, and this can be difficult for the couple to talk about,” says Katz.

For Verna, who says her husband was totally supportive, intimacy during her treatment became more about holding hands and cuddling. “You kind of revert back to the early romance that you started off with, and you find greater feeling in it,” she says.

Roberts agrees that those small loving gestures are key to rekindling intimacy. “You have to try to introduce romance back into the relationship because, for a while, the partner is the caregiver, and when you’re switching from a caregiver back to a sexual partner again, it can create a little bit of unease,” she says.