A fear of June bugs
Raccoons, cockroaches and bed bugs are not in the same league
I moved to Ontario from Cape Breton for a completely arbitrary reason; I had lived out east (Nova Scotia) and out west (Alberta) and had yet to experience the “middle.”
Sixteen years later, I’m still here in the middle. I’m pretty satisfied with life in Toronto, mostly because I’ve been gainfully employed since I moved here and also, the weather is pretty awesome in the summer. But there’s one benefit that I have consistently enjoyed since I moved here in 2000, one that I typically don’t mention for fear people will think I’m crazy. There are no June bugs! At least none that I’ve seen. Sure, Toronto has raccoons, cockroaches and bed bugs, but they pale in comparison to the winged tormenters of my youth.
When I mentioned my June bug fear to my colleague who grew up on the western side of Cape Breton Island she looked at me (predictably) like I was crazy. “June bugs? You sure you don’t mean midgies?”
“No, I mean June bugs. Those big stupid beetles that fly in your face and get caught in your hair and if they get caught in your hair you have to cut them out.
I actually never met anyone who had June bugs cut out of their hair, but that didn’t stop me from tying my hoodie strings extra tight when I went out in the evenings. There was no way a June bug was getting anywhere near my hair.
As I recounted this vivid childhood memory, my Caper co-worker shook her head.
“Don’t write about that,” she said, referencing this column. “People will think you’re crazy.”
But I have to write about it, because I know there will be someone out there who also heard the horrible June bug-inthe-hair stories, who tied her hood so tight she could barely see or breathe, and who cancelled evening plans because the idea of having to fight her way through the dozen or so June bugs swarming the back porch light was simply too much to bear. I know I can’t be alone in this.
As much as I despise this topic, I felt compelled to do a very small amount of June bug research.
Brian Higgins of CBC News says that no one is quite sure why they flock to bright electric lights. However, he adds: “Researchers do know this: late May and early June is mating season. The June bugs have just weeks to reproduce. Then they die. You’d be frantic too.” Another website referred to June bugs as “nature’s idiot dive bombers,” an apt description in my opinion.
In some areas of the country, the adult bugs aren’t the issue, but apparently their larval form … (I feel ill just typing this) is considered a … tasty treat by animals like skunks and crows, who will destroy lawns in their bid to… feed on them. I need to take a break. Whew, and I’m back!
Apparently June bugs are found throughout the nation. Another colleague says they drive her crazy in her suburban neighbourhood — which is all the more reason for me to continue living downtown.
My friend Brenda, originally of Dominion but now living in Texas, says they have June bugs but they’re a bit bigger there because (wait for it) everything’s bigger in Texas.
I can’t wait for my trip home to Cape Breton this summer… as long as the June bugs are gone. Mom and Dad, please turn off the porch light. Just in case a few idiot dive bombers are still around.