Having the best intentions

Marriage is not always understood by couples

Summertime is the time for weddings and some couples want to have a large grand expensive wedding.

A reception of 300 guests at a $100 a plate is $30,000. A wedding dress to die for and a honeymoon in Hawaii - after it’s all over, does the grand expensive wedding mean that the couple will have a grand rich happily ever after?

Their willingness to spend thousands of dollars to celebrate a one-day event with family and friends may not equal their willingness to spend a lifetime celebrating each other. If you live long enough you do discover that it’s easier to plan a happy day than it is to handle the stresses, strains, and struggles of maintaining a happy life.

Churches try to have vows or promises that couples will make that will mean something. Repeat after me, “for richer for poorer, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, forsaking all others, till death do we part.”

For the younger couples I am not sure if they fully understand what the vows mean. The greatest meanings in life about life comes from our experiences and not just the words we say.

If the man getting married is older, say 43 and still living at home, he may not care what the words mean, he just wants to move out. So lack of understanding or wrong motivation will not help to insure future success in your marriage.

When Adam met Eve they had an outdoor garden wedding and the Lord said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

The word of God tells us that a man needs to leave one lifestyle in order to be joined to a new lifestyle. You not only leave a physical house but you need to leave a system or a mindset of being single in order to be happily married.

You need to become unattached of other things in order to become securely attached to your spouse. Whatever you refuse to leave behind will get in the way of you having a great marriage.

I was talking with an older couple about their wedding day and they said that they had a very small wedding. They only had a few dollars to spend, no fancy dress or tux, no limo or pictures, no crowd of friends or honeymoon but they have had a great marriage. In their 60 plus years of being together they mastered the art of leaving and cleaving to become one.

My friends it’s not the size of the wedding that spells success but it’s your willingness to follow the instructions given by the One who created you. The question is, are you willing to leave your old ways in order to walk in His new way?

Confidence is always high on the day of the wedding that the marriage will last a lifetime. Ongoing success is to apply that confidence to you and your spouse that you do have what it takes to make your marriage work.

Most couples said their vows at the altar of a church. You may not have understood everything you said or you didn’t have the best of motives at the time but the good news is the church offers further instructions about how to do life every week. If you could use a little help why not go back to where you began? Find a good church to attend, God bless you all.

For comment or prayer request email: pastor.kevin@cbfellowship.ca