Growing healthy relationships
It is easier to make friends if you are friendly
Having healthy relationships with other people is something that you must work to build.
It starts off as someone you barely know before it’s someone you bare your soul to. It builds into best friends before it’s someone you would marry.
Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends must himself be friendly…”
You can’t be cranky, contentious, irritable, judging and condemning and expect people to like you. If you are that way there’s a good chance that you don’t even like yourself. If you have to pay someone to go for a coffee with you, admit it, you don’t have any friends.
The good news is if you are willing to learn how to be friendly, God’s word can help you build many wonderful lifelong friendships. The key to having success is found in the above verse, “... must himself be friendly.”
Are you a friendly person? If you can’t be friendly to others then others will avoid being friendly to you. Do you like yourself? How you feel about yourself becomes transmitted to those that are around you.
Proverbs 12:26 “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
There was a man who fell asleep and while he slept his children smeared some smelly cheese on his mustache. When he awoke he said, “something stinks in here.” He went into the kitchen and said, “it stinks in here too.” He went to the living room and said, “it also stinks in here.” He opened the door, walked outside and took a big whiff and declared, “the whole world stinks!”
The motto of the story — anytime you think the whole world stinks it’s likely something smelly is stuck on you.
All healthy friendships are built on how we relate to each other.
The construction of any good relationship needs to be strong enough to carry the conversations that happen within the relationship. If you are going to say heavy words then you need to make sure your relationship is strong enough or the weight of your words will destroy your friendship.
Has anyone ever said something to you and the unkind words destroyed the relationship? Have you ever said something and it sunk a relationship?
I truly dislike when someone says, “did you hear what so and so said that so and so said that so and so did?” It’s all twisted and maybe it’s all lies.
Proverbs 16:28 “A perverse man sows strife and a whisperer separates the best of friends.”
A true friend honours you and doesn’t talk behind your back.
Proverbs 17:9 “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends.”
1 Timothy 5:13 “... wandering about from house to house and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.”
I encourage you to find a good church to attend where you will learn that Jesus is your friend and how you can be a friend to others. A good church delights to cheer you on to become all that God created you to be.
My confidence is high that you would make a good friend. I believe that you are well worth the effort it takes for you to find good success.
God bless you all.
Kevin Mattatall is the pastor of the Cape Breton Christian Fellowship Church. His column appears in the Cape Breton Post twice a month. The Cape Breton Post welcomes comments on his column by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.