Grow­ing healthy re­la­tion­ships

It is eas­ier to make friends if you are friendly

Cape Breton Post - - IN MEMORIAM/RELIGION - Kevin Mat­tatal Fo­cus on Re­li­gion

Hav­ing healthy re­la­tion­ships with other peo­ple is some­thing that you must work to build.

It starts off as some­one you barely know be­fore it’s some­one you bare your soul to. It builds into best friends be­fore it’s some­one you would marry.

Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends must him­self be friendly…”

You can’t be cranky, contentious, ir­ri­ta­ble, judg­ing and con­demn­ing and ex­pect peo­ple to like you. If you are that way there’s a good chance that you don’t even like your­self. If you have to pay some­one to go for a cof­fee with you, ad­mit it, you don’t have any friends.

The good news is if you are will­ing to learn how to be friendly, God’s word can help you build many won­der­ful life­long friend­ships. The key to hav­ing suc­cess is found in the above verse, “... must him­self be friendly.”

Are you a friendly per­son? If you can’t be friendly to oth­ers then oth­ers will avoid be­ing friendly to you. Do you like your­self? How you feel about your­self be­comes trans­mit­ted to those that are around you.

Proverbs 12:26 “The right­eous should choose his friends care­fully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

There was a man who fell asleep and while he slept his chil­dren smeared some smelly cheese on his mus­tache. When he awoke he said, “some­thing stinks in here.” He went into the kitchen and said, “it stinks in here too.” He went to the liv­ing room and said, “it also stinks in here.” He opened the door, walked out­side and took a big whiff and de­clared, “the whole world stinks!”

The motto of the story — any­time you think the whole world stinks it’s likely some­thing smelly is stuck on you.

All healthy friend­ships are built on how we re­late to each other.

The con­struc­tion of any good re­la­tion­ship needs to be strong enough to carry the con­ver­sa­tions that hap­pen within the re­la­tion­ship. If you are go­ing to say heavy words then you need to make sure your re­la­tion­ship is strong enough or the weight of your words will de­stroy your friend­ship.

Has any­one ever said some­thing to you and the un­kind words de­stroyed the re­la­tion­ship? Have you ever said some­thing and it sunk a re­la­tion­ship?

I truly dis­like when some­one says, “did you hear what so and so said that so and so said that so and so did?” It’s all twisted and maybe it’s all lies.

Proverbs 16:28 “A per­verse man sows strife and a whis­perer sep­a­rates the best of friends.”

A true friend hon­ours you and doesn’t talk be­hind your back.

Proverbs 17:9 “He who cov­ers a trans­gres­sion seeks love, but he who re­peats a mat­ter sep­a­rates friends.”

1 Ti­mothy 5:13 “... wan­der­ing about from house to house and not only idle but also gos­sips and busy­bod­ies, say­ing things which they ought not.”

I en­cour­age you to find a good church to at­tend where you will learn that Je­sus is your friend and how you can be a friend to oth­ers. A good church de­lights to cheer you on to be­come all that God cre­ated you to be.

My con­fi­dence is high that you would make a good friend. I be­lieve that you are well worth the ef­fort it takes for you to find good suc­cess.

God bless you all.

Kevin Mat­tatall is the pas­tor of the Cape Bre­ton Chris­tian Fel­low­ship Church. His col­umn ap­pears in the Cape Bre­ton Post twice a month. The Cape Bre­ton Post wel­comes com­ments on his col­umn by email at pas­tor.kevin@cbfel­low­ship.ca.

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