Af­fair trades one prob­lem for another

Cape Breton Post - - In Memoriam/ Advice/ Games - El­lie Tesher

Q : I’ve been dat­ing this re­ally sweet guy for 18 months. He doesn’t like sex, he’s happy only do­ing it once a month and he won’t try dif­fer­ent po­si­tions.

I like sex and love try­ing dif­fer­ent ways. My ex of seven years ago is also in a sex­less mar­riage.

We started hook­ing up just for sex and it’s awe­some.

But part of me feels re­ally guilty be­cause I’ve al­ways been against cheaters and now I’m do­ing it.

I do care for this guy but I also need good sex.

Which Choice?

A: Nei­ther.

You and your ex have found a mu­tual so­lu­tion but it won’t last.

It can’t be­cause your boyfriend will be hurt/an­gry/mor­ti­fied and end the re­la­tion­ship. You’ll then want more than some­one else’s hus­band for oc­ca­sional sex.

You’ll want a com­mit­ted part­ner in more than sex.

The re­al­is­tic choices:

1. Tell your guy you need a more fre­quent and ad­ven­ture­some sex life.

If he’s in­ter­ested in stay­ing to­gether, he should try boost­ing his li­bido (e.g. read­ing sex man­u­als to­gether for arousal, see­ing a sex ther­a­pist, etc.). Or ac­cept that you’re not a longterm match.

2. If noth­ing changes, end both re­la­tion­ships. It’ll free you to meet some­one suited to you and not at­tached.


Cheat­ing on a low-li­bido boyfriend for bet­ter sex with a now mar­ried ex is a so­lu­tion bound to im­plode.

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