Deal­ing with loss

Cape Breton Post - - Obituaries/Religion/Games - Kevin Mat­tatal Fo­cus on Re­li­gion Kevin Mat­tatall is the pas­tor of the Cape Bre­ton Chris­tian Fel­low­ship Church. The Cape Bre­ton Post wel­comes com­ments on his col­umn by email at edit@cb­post.com

When you are play­ing a game, how do you han­dle the sting of los­ing?

I know peo­ple who refuse to ad­mit that they lost. They have lots of ex­cuses. ‘It’s not my fault, you dis­tracted me, some­one must have been cheat­ing, you only won be­cause I was sick.’

There are those you can’t play games with be­cause their re­ac­tion to los­ing is al­most life threat­en­ing. They are sore losers and the pain of their loss may even cost them some good friend­ships.

The trou­ble is we are all in the game of life and if you live long enough, the pain of los­ing will visit your house. There are cer­tain things that are just big­ger than us and things that are just be­yond our abil­ity to reach.

The ques­tion is not will you ever suf­fer loss but will you ever learn how to grace­fully and lov­ingly han­dle loss and go on to enjoy life?

It’s said that there are four stages in life; spills, when you are a baby and you spill things. Thrills, when you are youth­ful and do things for the thrill. Ills when you start to get older and the brain is will­ing but the body is weak. Lastly pills, where we take pills for all our ills.

In ev­ery stage of life we suf­fer loss but that’s not a prob­lem un­less you get stuck in yes­ter­day’s losses. We all know peo­ple who are still com­plain­ing about some­thing that hap­pened many years ago. What­ever it was that hurt them has also stolen their abil­ity to move for­ward into hav­ing a hap­pier fu­ture.

If you meet some­one who’s en­joy­ing to­day, it’s not be­cause they haven’t had any losses but they have learned to grow be­yond the loss. Losses come in all sizes. If you have had a size five loss and you are only a size two per­son then your loss will al­ways be greater than who you are.

The good news is the size of our loss is fixed, a size five loss will al­ways be a size five and it can’t grow any big­ger. On the other hand we were cre­ated with the abil­ity to grow up, ma­ture, and gain Godly wis­dom. We may have once been a size two but over time we can grow and be­come a size three, four, five, six, seven, or eight.

Now that you are an eight, the size five loss that was once over­whelm­ing and too big for you to han­dle is no longer a prob­lem. What hap­pened? Did the size five prob­lem be­come only a one? No my friend it didn’t change, you grew up.

Eph­e­sians 4:15 “speak­ing the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head­Christ.”

We all need some di­vine help to grow big­ger than our prob­lems and larger than our losses. I en­cour­age peo­ple to go to church be­cause in the right church peo­ple will speak the truth to you in love. In a good church peo­ple will work to build you up rather than tear you down. In a great church peo­ple will en­cour­age you to grow big­ger and move for­ward into greater suc­cess.

I have dis­cov­ered that the key to liv­ing the blessed life is not to shrink my losses but it’s for me to grow larger. I have great con­fi­dence in you that in the right place you will grow larger than your great­est loss and you will speak to your mountain to be re­moved and it shall be cast into the sea. God bless you all.

For com­ment or prayer email: pas­tor.kevin@cbfel­low­ship.ca

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