No more chances for compulsive liar
Q : I’m a divorced father of two, who’s been seeing a woman who has one child, for two and a half years.
Everything was great between us - true love, planning to move in together, our sex life was amazing.
When we returned from a week-long trip in March, I received a text saying she’s had another boyfriend for three years. The guy’s phone number was included.
I called him and he was in shock that she was two-timing. She’d lied to us both every day for over two years and told both of us the same b.s. — “love you to death,” “move in together,” etc.
We both called her. She freaked out, denied everything, and hung up.
She called me back saying she was sorry and wanted to be with me forever. An hour later, she calls back and ends it with me because she wants to be with him.
She calls me back later again, this time telling me she wants me and that he forced her to end it with me.
Now, five weeks later, she’s back with him. I cut her off. But she also wants me back. What do I do?
I think she has serious mental issues to lie to both of us for so long. Do I give her a chance, or do you think she’ll hurt me again? — Devastated
A: Are you serious? I can’t start my response any other way, or my readers will lambaste me (and you, by inference) for considering any misplaced, wrong-headed, and undeserved compassion towards her.
She’s a committed compulsive liar and yes, she’ll hurt you again - him too - and anyone else (including your kids and hers).
It could take years of treatment before a therapist could help her to become honest and faithful. And it might not last.
Meanwhile, the children and you could never be sure of anything she says, does, or feels. That’s scary for you all.