Woman says she was bullied while at NSCC
‘It has definitely affected my self-image’
Twenty-two-year-old Tuma White was bullied from the age of 10 through high school. She thought it would end when she started college but it didn’t and it affects her daily.
“I haven’t gone out since September. Not to a bar or anything,” she says, smiling nervously as she speaks.
“It has definitely affected my self-image. And my psychiatrist says I’m always feeling lonely even in a room full of people. I’m distant. I could be the world’s best actor. My psychiatrist said that so I guess it’s probably true.
“I could go home and act like everything’s OK or go to school and act like everything’s OK. But it’s not.”
She continues: “And now it’s leading to paranoia… now I’m always thinking someone’s going to drive by and pull over and jump out of the car.”
White has been diagnosed with PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and bipolar disorder. All diagnoses were made after she was 12.
The bullying started when White was 10 and her family moved from Toronto to Sydney Mines. White and her brother are half Egyptian Muslim and were the only children of colour at Sydney Mines Elementary at the time.
“I remember getting called the n-word,” she says. “Someone’s mother even said you’re a mutt, you’re an inbred. Yelled it at me. It was in Grade 6.
“She had pulled over and was trying to get her child out of the car to, like, fight me. And then the mom was trying to fight me, too. My mom saw it and came running down. She was like, ‘you want to try and put hands on my daughter?’ She went to the cops and put a peace bond on her.”
This didn’t stop the bullying. Then in high school she became both the bully and the victim for a short time.
“Hurt people hurt people,” White says. “And if you don’t have a good support system that also ruins you.”
White also had issues with bullying from friends of her ex-boyfriend, the father of her three-year old daughter. He was abusive and she filed assault charges against him last May. He pled guilty but his friends still threatened and harassed her through the summer.
“In September, I ended up trying to attempt suicide by downing 40 clonazepams,” she says. “Then I thought of my child and called 911.”
White got medical help and was doing well until she started at NSCC Marconi campus. A couple of people started harassing her and one woman in particular that was making her life hell.
“She’d drive by and throw her middle finger up at me, yelling threats,” she says. “One day she blew up a huge status (on her Facebook page) saying I’m this and I’m that and my friends were like ‘Tuma’s not like that,’ but still, there’s so much going around, it makes me feel like crap.
“Last time she started something, when she threatened me, I ended up going to the psych ward, the crisis clinic, because it was too much,” White says.
Fred Tilley, principal of NSCC Marconi campus, says bullying at the post-secondary education level isn’t something they see often but they do take it seriously.
“We want to have a respectful learning environment for all,” he says.
Tilley explains the first thing they would do is send both the bully and the victim to the onsite student counselor, to find out more about the situation and to help guide students toward other onsite services that can help them.
Students would also be referred to the student code of conduct so they would know how they are expected to act and in some cases they maybe forced to sign a behavioral contract.
“The big thing for me is making sure students come forward in situations like this so we can look into it,” Tilley says. “Come forward and be aware of the services available on campus.”
For White, she is happy to be graduating and looks forward to working in her field of metal fabrication with hopes of moving to Halifax with her daughter. But she does think something needs to be done about bullying and hopes her story will help others find help, whether they are the victim or the bully.
“You have to look at the bully. Don’t leave them out. Find out what’s going on in their life that’s making them this way,” she says.
“Because there’s obviously something wrong.”