Bullied children need protection

Why aren’t I worth protecting? Why am I punished if I step out of line and defend myself but the bullies can act with impunity? Why is my reaction judged but not the actions that caused it? Why won’t anyone say, “I have a right to be me but they don’t have a right to put their hands on me?”

What is the point of setting goals if I can’t protect myself, my loved ones can’t protect me and the people and systems that are supposed to protect me either can’t or won’t?

Those are the thoughts that go through the mind of a bullied child. As children mature they start to set goals and work towards their future. The sense of invulnerability of most teenagers is probably necessary to break away from home and start developing a life of one’s own.

Bullying disrupts the phases of maturing. No one wants to venture forth into a world fraught with danger and cruelty. Puberty is a difficult transition for everyone. It’s a time when children have to transition from the theoretical concepts of fairness and justice our parents teach us to the reality that life is not fair or just. Sometimes a teen struggling with bullying can’t make that transition. They can’t figure out how to be part of the world and still be safe. They know they can’t protect themselves or their loved ones and they know the systems that ostensibly protect us don’t.

Children who are bullied are in a hostage situation because everyday they have to go into a situation where they are powerless.

Then there are the parents, the unseen victims. They are the ones who have to force their children to go to school everyday. They are the ones who have to deal with the ensuing fallout and dysfunction.

It’s humiliating for a child to have everyone see them mistreated and not be able to stop it. It doesn’t give much incentive to focus on future goals.

There are still too many people who think pushing, shoving and “horseplay” are normal and look down on those who object. The intent of bullying is not usually to injure. It’s to humiliate and instil fear. It’s always directed at someone who is different in some way. Sometimes that difference is challenging the acceptance of bullying behaviour and asking, “Why aren’t I worth protecting?” M. Monica MacDonald North Sydney