Let’s talk about love
Discovering the true reason for the season
“Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.” – Spoken by Billy Mack in “Love Actually,” a 2003 Christmas-themed romantic comedy film written and directed by Richard Curtis.
Not until I moved into the new room recently did I realize that Christmas is such an important holiday, and should be more about love.
When my friend Vivi and my roommate Anne asked me to help decorate the Christmas tree either in my landlord Jackie’s house or in the meal hall of Cape Breton University, I was busy with my studies and final exams. I took it for granted that it was a routine work week during the Christmas season. I would rather prepare for the final exam than decorate a tree.
Then Vivi shared with us the pictures of the decorated Christmas tree, and she called it “a tree full of memories.”
Every ornament on that tree is a souvenir.
I think I missed a good chance to connect with a family tradition.
I saw love in Jackie’s eyes and in her smiles when she explained to me the meaning of every tiny little item on her Christmas tree.
“This is the gift for my son’s first Christmas.”
“That is to celebrate my grandchildren’s first Christmas, they are lovely twins!”
“This one is made by my daughter.”
“That’s for Jordan; he loves soccer so much”
“Each family has its own tradition of decorating a tree,” Albert added. “The tradition of decorating a tree could be an important childhood memory, and families share this experience with successive generations.” Now I know, for some families, the most treasured ornaments are those that capture a time and place in their history, perhaps something made by a child or a bauble purchased on a special holiday trip.
In my hometown in mainland China, Christmas is not a public holiday. And, as far as I know, most Chinese do not celebrate Christmas. In major cities such as Beijing and Shanghai, Christmas has been steadily gaining popularity in the last decade. However, it is more like a big commercial event.
It is still a good chance for us with our beloved friends to get together on Christmas Eve in Beijing. Young couples or lovers will exchange gifts, have a celebratory dinner and enjoy a romantic night. But we do not have Christmas trees in our houses. Christmas is not a family event.
When I was in Beijing last Christmas, there were Christmas trees, lights, and decorations on the streets and in department stores. People can hear Christmas music playing from the end of November, over the noise of the crowds shopping for Christmas season promotions. Besides, it became a trend for young people to go to church during Christmas simply to experience something exotic. My friends and I went to a big church in Beijing last Christmas Eve, since we wanted to know how westerners celebrate the holiday. But we did not get in since there were too many people waiting to take a look inside.
It is said that China’s Christians (only about one per cent of the population officially) generally celebrate Christmas religiously, sometimes more so than in the West. I do not have any idea about that.
As for this year, I got a real Christmas here in Cape Breton, but without my beloved ones and friends here around me.
I began to realize the space distance and time difference between my friends and me in these three months. Do you ever have this kind of experience? Imagine you are not involved in your friends and your family’s lives anymore.
I watch them having fun and shedding tears with someone else from such a long distance. My little cat at home must have thought that I had already abandoned him.
There is always a screen dividing my family and friends with me into two different worlds. Furthermore, there is the 12-hour time difference between us. My family and friends are sleeping while I am having classes, and I will go to sleep when they have time to chat with me. One of my friends in Beijing said that his biological clock would go wrong if we kept talking every day. Sooooo sad, I have to say.
I could not think of any efficient way to express my concern and my love to them. Deep in my heart, I yearn to find connections or to reconnect with love.
Does it make sense to you, my dearest readers? What is your suggestion to my Christmas then?
Well, are you going to tell me that Christmas is a joyous time of the year that allows us to come together, even if everything is not hunky-dory?
I have no idea yet. But I will tell Jackie I want to help her to decorate the other Christmas tree in our house. I want to hang up a small fish for my dearest cat at home, a heart for those in Beijing whom I missed very much and a big star for my beloved hometown. When finished, our tree may not be the prettiest around, but it carries memories and loves that are irreplaceable. Our tree is certainly special to us, and something that always reminds us of what the true meaning of Christmas is – sharing and love.