#MeToo stories continue

#MeToo stories from everyday people abused in their homes and workplaces, add to the rallying call for non-acceptance and public/legal consequences.

#Me Too: “We were three new teachers. Our Principal regularly dropped by our classrooms and snapped the back of our bras – over a couple of years.

“The final straw came when I served on a Promotion Committee with him. At the first meeting, he stood up and read a poem to the other members (all men) about my breasts.

“After much deliberation, a few days later I approached him and asked for his wife’s contacts. He asked why.

“I said that I thought she’d be very interested in reading his poem about my breasts. He turned red, and walked away. He didn’t bother any of us again.’

I’m 57 now. #MeToo: “I was 18, having started working as a bank teller. The bank manager, late-30s, would walk from his office to the coffee room, behind the tellers.

“Passing by me, his hand would brush my bottom, soon more forcefully, then brush up between my legs.

“Most times I never saw him coming.

“Once, when a Brinks cash delivery arrived, he insisted he count it with me, not the accountant, behind a locked cage door.

“As we worked he kept rubbing my leg, saying inappropriate things.

“Finally, I went to the caged door and called to someone for a washroom-break replacement.

“Then, after the company Christmas party, he announced that I had to stay and clean up and he’d help me. My heart froze. The bank doors to the mall closed and were locked.

“He poured himself another drink and talked about how he was once in bed with one of his tellers.

“I ran for the locked mall doors. I had a key and got out.

“When I drove 45 minutes later into my underground, there he was. He’d arrived before me. He knew where I lived.

“I ran to my apartment, and straight to my roommate’s room, telling her and her boyfriend I needed their help.The manager had caught the door and was now in the living room.

“My roommate’s boyfriend scared him back out the door.

“Back at work on Monday, he still walked up and brushed his hand against me. I went to our accountant and asked for a transfer to another branch.

“Unfortunately, my manager chose the transfer to one managed by his friend, who had me working overtime, alone in an unguarded bank, from closing until midnight several days a week.

“After a few weeks, I quit. “I’m 57 now and have only ever told this to my then boyfriend, now my husband.’

#MeToo: “For many years, I thought that being molested as a child was my fault.

“We were a large family, rather isolated - me, the second youngest, with six older siblings.We slept, three to a bed.

“It never occurred to my parents or other family, that one adolescent brother was molesting me almost nightly from about age six or seven.

“I coped by pretending I was asleep.

“By day I was called nasty names and sometimes physically hit.

“There was an attempted rape on a rock pile and other places when I was just old enough to be sent out to work in the field with my brother.

“Throughout my adolescent and teenage years, I was made to feel ugly and dirty. All this “conditioning’ had a profound effect on my adult life relationships.

“I’m 78 now.’

Q

: I met him online. We communicate via text but sometimes he contradicts himself.

He said that he doesn’t have his own kids, but mentioned a couple of times about his three step-children from his last partner.

However, once he said he had a family obligation to attend something for his son, not stepson.

Maybe he’s hiding something. It’s tricky to find the truth in a long-distance relationship.

— Is He Trustworthy?

A: You won’t know if he’s trustworthy unless you make it clear that if he’s not honest with you, the online connection is over.

He may have an explanation about a “step-son’ being called a “son.’

But you still won’t know whether you can trust him as a partner until 1) he doesn’t ask for money or other help to visit you; 2) you see him in his home environment: by Skype and eventually a visit. And also have evidence that he’s not married or committed elsewhere.

TIP OF THE DAY

I urge men and boys who’ve suffered sexual abuse and harassment, to join the current outcry.