Death of the beater
When I was a teenager with a fresh driver’s licence, there was constant buzz in the back of my mind.
It varied in intensity, but the concept of buying a car of my own was the basis of an ache with only one resolution.
Owning a car meant no endless waits at the kitchen table to work up enough nerve to ask my father to borrow the pickup truck for a date.
A ride of my own would ratchet up prestige with friends and acquaintances and give me something to hopelessly fuss over.
“Hey, there goes Sowerby in that ’54 Ford Victoria he bought for $90!”
Fast forward 50 years and last summer daughter Layla buys a 2004 VW Jetta with quarter-million kilometres on it for $2,500.
Of course, she loves what has turned out to be a completely maintenance-free car, even on a drive across Canada to Vancouver.
Let’s face it: The “beater,” those dated, often ugly and perhaps politically incorrect vehicles in terms of fuel consumption, size and emissions, are on the wane.
For mostly better than worse, low-cost vehicles that have traditionally been the mainstay of winter drift jumpers, young people’s first cars or the basis of a restoration, are disappearing from the landscape.
I notice it especially in British Columbia, where easy winters and the lack of road salt has traditionally made it the best place in Canada to find that perfect 1972 Ford Pinto, a nifty AMC Gremlin or a base 1969 Plymouth Fury sedan to convert to a hulking rat rod.
So where are the road relics going? They are headed to the shredders and crushers by the truckload after being drained of lubricants and stripped of anything of value.
Agencies across the country are offering cash, more than what many people might think, for older cars and trucks. The goal? Get the most environmentally unfriendly, or the “dirtiest,” vehicles off the road.
If you have a pristine 30-yearold Hyundai Pony and can get $800 for it without moving a muscle, why not?
In Nova Scotia, Retire Your Ride is part of a national program to properly retire vehicles using members of the Automotive Recyclers Association of Atlantic Canada, the local affiliate of the Automotive Recyclers of Canada.
In 2017, Retire Your Ride processed 2,160 vehicles nationally, with 84 in Nova Scotia.
This may not sound like a lot but it’s the beginning of a trend that will eventually save millions of litres of fuel and tons of noxious emissions from spewing into the atmosphere.
I know this is all good from the standpoint of reduced greenhouse gases and road safety since newer vehicles have more safety features and are more crash-resilient than aging relics.
Judging by the demise of those beautiful and quirky old cars I used to see all over the country, it seems programs for getting gas-guzzling, emissiondischarging oldtimers off the road are working.
So, who misses those beaters besides aging cars nuts like myself? Probably no one.
Beyond safety features like airbags and anti-lock braking systems, most of today’s drivers want good fuel economy and ease of operation. So much for #savethemanuals these days.
Convenience features like power windows, remote locks, cruise control and the big one, connectivity, are in demand.
More and more young drivers want themselves and their passengers to be connected to social media and the internet.
They desire navigation systems and rear backup cameras more than sexy wheels or chrome-tipped exhaust pipes.
So, between the changing wants of emerging new drivers and the programs in place to put a bounty on the beater population, the road ahead for aging vehicles is paved with speed-bumps and potholes.
I guess I’d better watch where I put my pristine 27-year-old Pontiac Firefly when I get it out of storage this summer.
It’s light and easy to break into. Of course, I wouldn’t call it a beater but it’s probably a prime target for thieves wanting to take advantage of programs that are popping up all over Canada like Kars4Kids, Cash for Clunkers and Retire Your Ride.