Negative relative ruins family time

Q

: My husband’s brother left his then-fiancè for his first wife. She soon left him due to his self-absorption.

My mother-in-law (MIL) went into deep depression, affecting her relationship with her other son (my husband) and our children.

Six years later, his brother moved across the world and married another woman. She’s worked hard to separate them and their children from our closeknit family. She doesn’t allow my in-laws to stay in their home. They must “schedule” time with the nannies to see their three grandchildren.

Worse, when we travel with our family across the world just to see them, they suddenly have travel plans taking them out of the country.

When together, he doesn’t engage with my husband or our teenage kids when trying to have a conversation. If he isn’t doing the talking, he’s busy with his phone.

The only topics that interest him are the real estate market in the city/country that he lives in, airline point travel, and his work only his work.

My in-laws are so terrified of him that they’re always praising his every move.

We’re supposed to travel together to celebrate a family milestone next summer, but my husband’s putting up a fight.

Until now, we’ve always said, “it’s all about making memories,” and put the pettiness aside. But my husband’s stressed, not wanting a trip that’ll be miserable for us. Therefore, the kids and I are stressed, too.

— Go For Family Memories? A: You already know the downside – bad vibes between brothers, and crummy family memories. Travel with teenagers can be enlightening, fun, and bonding, if it’s affordable.

Pick a destination that your family prefers, and go. Invite your in-laws to join you, if you wish.

His brother has previously brushed you off and openly prefers his own company. His wife clearly cares less about you all.

. Celebrate separately.