Get professional assistance when divorce is near

My husband of 15 years recently said that he’s no longer in love with me and needed time to figure things out.

He’s staying with his brother. Our two sons and I are in the family home which is now for sale.

He rarely visits and only talks about the kids or the house. Now, he’s more convinced that it’s over for good.

He said that it’s because I keep bringing it up and never gave him space.

He’s detached and wants to move on.

Is there any chance if I stop talking about us and give it some time?

He doesn’t want a divorce, just to separate legally, presumably because it’s cheaper.

How should I proceed?? I’ve told him that I love him and don’t want to lose our family.

– Devastated

Red flags: he’s calling all the shots: To separate instead of divorce, and to not allow you to even talk about your relationship.

I can’t help but think he may’ve already “moved on,” and there’s another future partner waiting in the wings.

Even if not so, you must talk to a lawyer, and learn your rights and what suits your needs.

It’s shocking that the house where his and your children live, is already for sale. Get your own legal advice about that immediately to review if that’s the right thing for you and the kids.

See your bank manager, and an accountant or financial adviser (not one working with him), and ask about your joint bank accounts and any assets/investments.

By him not allowing discussion, the absence of marital counselling, and you focusing only on wanting him back, you’ve so far ignored all the practical considerations that’ll affect your future and that of your children.

Don’t be afraid to confront him with strength of purpose and informed knowledge about what’s involved.

Even if you still love him, he needs to know that he’s dealing with an equal whose future is also at stake, not just his.

Tip of the day

When a spouse decides unilaterally to separate, get legally and financially informed, fast.